Have you seen Gossip Girl? It’s terrible isn’t it? It’s like an overly-long tooth-paste commercial based on Cruel Intentions. In the thick of the show is dashing sneerer, Ed Westwick who is living up to his character’s traits by waggling his bits about in front of humans in the hope they’ll succumb to his dubious charms.
This time, his sights are set squarely on Cheryl Cole.
So what does he see in Cheryl? Is it because she’s still recovering from malaria? Is it her vast wealth? Is it her weight-lifter trousers that she wore in the Fight For This Love video?
Ed certainly seems bowled over by The X Factor judge and has had an outpouring of mushy praise for the Girls Aloud singer.
He said:
“Cheryl is ideal. There’s something about her soft Geordie accent that just does it for me. I’d love to take her for some good old-fashioned fish and chips. My dad is from the north east, and girls with those accents…. well, they’re just amazing.”
What a lovely image. Two famous people dangling their feet into the water at the docks in Newcastle, gently pushing the needles and condoms away that float close by, both talking to each other like Sid The Sexist. Pet.
Of course, Ed, who plays bad boy Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl, is newly single after splitting-up with co-star Jessica Szohr. We wonder if he had to put all his stuff in bin bags and load the car up like we all do?
Now he’s on the market and gunning for Wor Cheryl, he’s going to have to join a lengthy queue as she’s being courted by the likes of Chace Crawford and will.i.am.
Let’s not forget that she’s been hanging around with Derek Hough who has been helping to mend her crippled heart… crippled by that shag-sack, Ashley Cole. It’s worth pointing out that Hecklerspray does not believe that both these men used Cheryl as a Professional Beard for one second. Nope. No truth in it at all.