Spice Girls fans! Rejoice in your wasted lives because it seems like the Spice Girls are coming back! …Again.
Former Spicer Geri Halliwell, famous for such solo hits as ‘Mi Perro Latino’, about a latin dog and the one where she was dead in the video, has claimed that the Spice Girls could be due for another money-spinning reunion.
Actually, that’s totally unfair. While most groups end up reuniting out of a love of crack cocaine and cold hard cash, the Spice Girls appear to be coming out of retirement to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.
Anyone who is sitting there doubting the girls’ credentials as the biggest royalists of the last 20 years need only cast their minds back to Ginger Spice’s Union Jack dress which showcased not only her strong feelings for the royal family but also her love of crotchless underwear.
Not to mention the fact that Mel B had sex with Prince Andrew. Not to mention it- of course- because it never happened. However, Mel B did manage to let the cat out of the bag about their plans for the Jubilee. The Jenny Craig spokeswoman and Eddie Murphy career ender told the press:
“Well, we do have the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee coming up. Did I really say that?”
Yes, you did. You know you did, you publicity hungry person, you.
Still, this prompted a flurry of excitable activity in the tabloids who began circling around Spice Girls like sharks or Simon Fuller. Ex-Ginger Geri told the Sunday Mirror’s phone hacking department:
“We did get the offer and it is exciting. Obviously we are a band and it’s a collective decision that has to be made as a band.?We need to all be in the same place with it and we have to take into account all of our lives. We wouldn’t do it without all five of us. I do feel it’s an incredible honour and privilege. Performing at Buckingham Palace for the Queen – it doesn’t get bigger than that.”
So far, the plans for the Jubilee have not been revealed but it thought that the Queen is looking forward to five former pop stars strutting around, shoving their pelvises in her face. It’ll be like the time she met the Rolling Stones and had it off with Mick Jagger.