Good news – Vince Vaughn’s new movie Four Christmases has done better at the weekend box office than his last Christmas movie Fred Claus.
In fact, Four Christmases has done so much better that it’s the top movie at the US weekend box office this week, beating off cultish vampire phenomenons, big-budget historical epics and dumb actioners alike.
That’s great news for Vince Vaughn and the cast and crew of Four Christmases, but don’t think that first paragraph was a compliment – just to add a little bit of perspective, here’s a list of other things that are better than Fred Claus: Bridge To Terabithia, I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, Alvin And The Chipmunks, YouTube videos of people getting injured, genital herpes, crying pensioners, papercuts and smacking yourself about the face with a brick. Doesn’t make Four Christmases look so good in comparison, does it?
It looks like Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon are back. After woeful turns at hamfisted kid’s films (Fred Claus) and depressingly bleak films about screaming women that apparently have something to do with the war (Rendition), their new movie Four Christmases is top of the weekend box office.
The weekend box office success of Four Christmases just goes to show that Vince Vaughn was right to only ever make bawdy yet sentimental Christmas movies these days. Just as well, since he’s now booked up to 2012 with the following movies: Jingle Balls, Merry Christmas To Ewe, Jeff’s Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire and I Saw Mommy Dicking Santa Claus. Here’s the weekend box office top five…
1 – Four Christmases (SPOILER ALERT – you know what our favourite part of Four Christmases was? The part where Vince Vaughn burbled on monotonously in his self-consciously hip way about whatever seemed to ambiently drift into his mind at any given moment in time regardless of what was going on around him FOR THE ENTIRE FILM. Oh, and one of Reese Witherspoon’s dresses was quite nice also) $31,680,000
2 – Bolt (The highest-opening 3D movie ever it might be, but Bolt deserves to be famous for so much more than that. For example, Bolt is the only movie made in the last couple of years that doesn’t make John Travolta‘s hair look weird and artificial and fake. And, yes, we do realise that in Bolt John Travolta plays a computer-animated dog. We’re just saying) $26,596,000
3 – Twilight (OK, we’ll admit that all our constant bashing of Twilight recently has been based on nothing but jealousy. Teenagers of today get to relate their adolescent problems to a gang of sexy, charisma-free vampires, but what did we have when we were their age? 3 Ninjas Kick Back and that Flash advert starring Karl Howman. Those lucky bloody teenagers, they don’t they’re born) $26,370,000
4 – Quantum Of Solace (We’ve been blathering on about Quantum Of Solace forever now, so we’re going to ignore it this week and concentrate on a movie that didn’t get into the weekend box office top five despite being widely hyped – Transporter 3. Why did Transporter 3 fail? Is it because Transporter 1 & 2 were humongous piles of steaming fart? Yes, yes that’s it exactly) $19,500,000
5 – Australia (Number five? For a movie as hyped as Australia? Is that it? Why did Australia fail? Is it because the movie is too long and self-indulgent? Is it because nobody wanted to break Nicole Kidman‘s world-beating streak of deeply unpopular movies? Is it because Nicole Kidman didn’t want to break her own world-beating streak of movies where nobody can tell what emotion she’s trying to convey with her face? Or was it because the movie is called Australia and therefore everybody assumed it’d be about a bunch of smug backpackers going to Sydney for a fortnight and then boring all their friends shitless by banging on about what an amazing time they had? The answer to all? Yes) $14,815,000
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