Fat, Chavvy And Annoying Kerry Katona Is Now Just Chavvy And Annoying

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Celebrity dregs Kerry Katona has posed in her grundies to show-off the fact that she now weighs marginally less than a manatee.

The mother-of-four blames her previous weight gain on the see-food diet; she saw it, she swallowed it, claiming to have gorged on ‘bread and cheese’.

‘Bread and cheese’, in this instance we hope, actually means she scarfed down insane amounts of pizza and Ginster’s pasties.

The former face of Iceland claims that she lost the weight through detox and exercise, but would have had it siphoned off could she afford the surgery:

“In the past few weeks, my arms have become super toned. I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger… but I still hate my stomach. If I could afford it, I’d have a tummy tuck.”

Which suggests that she has lost not only weight, but her memory.

Think back to 2008 and recall the time Kerry was boasting about a £15,000 full-body overhaul in get-your-baps-out-for-the-boys lad’s mag Zoo, which was filmed by MTV.

Kerry’s been under the knife more times than a carvery joint. Any more plastic inserts and she’ll be declared a bio-hazard and buried in a concrete box in a third-world country.

If she’s going to tell fibs, Kezza would be better off trying to convince us that her new body is down to a strange new parasite or wasting disease than her hard work and new-found love of exercise.

RIGHT?

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