Imagine being George Clooney. Wouldn't it be great? ?You get to have international fame as being the nippleiest Batman ever.
You can devote your life to pigs and no one thinks you're a weirdo. Your name sounds like a slang word for a ladies area. And, best of all, everyone knows you as an international playboy and eternal bachelor, meaning you can knob your way though vast crowds of women young enough to be your daughter without anyone expecting you to settle down.
Sort of like a male Lindsay Lohan. That is, apart from the age thing. And the more sensible career choices. And the fact that he looks like he'd just smell like an old man, and not like he'd need to be washing at arms length with an antiseptic sponge. And not being a lunatic.? Basically, he's got it made.
But what's this? His girlfriend has been seen wearing a ring? Is this the fall of the house of Cloon?
Of course it isn't. He's strapped on his enhanced plastic nipples and wielded his marriage-repellent bat-spray ? otherwise known as his publicist. As Radaronline reports:
Clooney?s rep confirmed to RadarOnline.com ?it's a napkin ring? that she appeared to be flashing to photographers.
A napkin ring? Those things are huge compared to little, tiny engagement rings for dainty ladies! Obviously, it’s either a great big fat lie about it being a napkin ring, or his girlfriend has some kind of grotesque elephantitis of the fingers which leaves them the size of Bratwurst and means that the local Italian children laugh at her in the street and call her ?tree fingers? and ask if they can make a bookcase out of her hand (insults tend to lose something in the translation).
Either of those, probably. Or it could be that people are just pretty stupid and like to make up elaborate fantasies regarding the home life of famous people based on a single still image of something shiny attached to someone?s hand. Kind of like I'd drawn the conclusion that Katy Perry likes to dress up as a hairless wolf and pretend to devour langoustines and cream cheese from Russell Brand?s navel, based on an image of them both striding past an injured hen.
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