Being Everybody’s Imaginary Boyfriend Backfires On Johnny Depp

JohnnydeppYou wouldn’t imagine there are many downsides to waking up every morning and finding out that you’re Johnny Depp. Having to fight your way through crowds of adoring women on your way to buy the morning paper, maybe.?

Maybe your big wad of $100 bills won’t fit in your crocodile skin wallet. Or, just maybe, you turn up to the premiere of your latest film and are served with papers telling you that you have to appear in court and swear that you are not sleeping with some murderous nutcase. Not the one that they’re concerned about, anyway. Amber Heard does have that shifty look about her, though.

Johnny Depp turned up at the Hollywood premiere of ‘Transcendence‘ ?on Thursday, looking better at aged fifty than anybody has the right to, quite frankly. Nothing out of the ordinary there. However, he was then subpoenaed by a lawyer looking to use Depp to prove that his client is insane. How does Johnny fit into this case? Stick with me here.


A woman named Nancy Lekon is accused of mowing down and killing a pedestrian back in 2009, whilst driving a limo through L.A’s infamous Skid Row. She was arrested for murder and pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. Her lawyer now has to prove to the court that she is completely cuckoo, and this is when Johnny Depp rears his devilishly handsome head.

Lekon allegedly told officers at the scene that she was only in the ?area because she was there to hook up with her boyfriend Johnny Depp. Coincidentally, that’s also the excuse I use when I bump into people on the street that I don’t want to talk to. ?Her lawyer now wants Johnny to take the stand and – presumably – deny that he ever met her, therefore proving her delusional.

Hopefully this won’t start a trend of people committing horrible crimes just so they’re in with a chance of meeting their favourite celebrity. But while we’re on the subject, Bradley Cooper did tell me he wanted to try and steal the Mona Lisa, so someone should probably look in to that.