In the latest issue of New York Magazine, Eva Mendes goes off the deep end advocating that celebrity dogs be afforded the same rights to privacy as celebrity children and have their faces blurred.
She wishes that tabloids would blur the faces of their dogs, Hugo (hers) and George [Gosling’s], in photos, like British papers do to kids’ faces. “I’ll go somewhere and they’ll be like, ?Hey, Hugo!’ and I’m like, ?How do you know Hugo’s name? That’s so creepy!’ “
Somebody please tell this bitch that animals aren't people. Do we really need to have this conversation again? (And yes, I am a proud dog-parent to a very stinky, whiny English Springer Spaniel, so all you trolls can shut it.)
I love animals. I love dogs. I love people that love dogs. (no hate, Eva, I swear!) But, please people, for the love of GOD, stop pretending that your dogs are human. Oh, I forgot, I need to go to the grocery store and pick up a ? dozen lemons, I'll just bring Mr. Wiggle Pants. No.
Eva, I hate to break your celebrity bullshit bubble, but just because somebody knows your dog?s name does not make them famous. My entire neighborhood calls my dog out on a daily basis but you don't see her shying away from her adoring fans, you know why? Because she's a fucking dog.
Dogs don't need or care about privacy. They lick their balls in public. That tells you right there what they think about a photographer taking their photo. Dogs don't give a fuck. I once saw a dog honk up an entire pile of kibble only to turn around and throw shade at me before returning to wolf it down like a boss.
Eva, what your dog doesn't need is a blurry face, what it needs is more googly eye:
So much better, right?
Work it girl!
I look good. ?Hey everybody, come see how good I look!
Um, yeah. ?On second thought, maybe not.