Since the Eurovision Song Contest is rattling towards us like a furious sparkly transvestite hippo, it's only fair that we continue our exhaustive rundown of Eurovision betting odds – just so you know exactly what you're letting yourselves in for.
Some exciting Eurovision for news for you – over in Helsinki the Eurovision Song Contest stage has started to be constructed. And what a stage it is – made from 100 tonnes of lighting equipment and huge video screens, the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest stage will take the form of… a pike's jaw. Seriously, a pike's jaw. We're not even joking. And a pike's jaw Eurovision stage would make Scooch look like fish spittle. Correction – more like fish spittle.
Here are the Eurovision betting odds for France and FYR Macedonia, with betting odds from Paddy Power…
France (pop. 63,044,000; a country whose metropolitan territory is in western Europe) Les Fatals Picards, L'amour À La Française
France has never 'got' Eurovision. While other countries have realised it's all about bright colours, catchy tunes and prosthetic devil masks, France always just rolls out a profound existential piano ballad, shrugs and goes home again. Will this year be the year that France gets it right? Actually it's possible. What do you want in a Eurovision song? A giant chorus? A gang of majorettes running at full speed around a sleazy French man with a ponytail? An embarrassing bald man who thinks he can dance? Half French, half English lyrics about "Champs Elysées alone la nuit/ Le Moulin Rouge I feel guilty"? L'amour À La Française by Les Fatals Picards has all of these things and – hand on heart – it's the best Eurovision song we've heard so far. Current Eurovision betting odds – 28/1
Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia (pop. 2,022,547; an independent state on the Balkan peninsula) Karolina, Mojot Svet
Macedonia, you may have the best flag in the world, but you're effing hopeless at Eurovision. Macedonia's Eurovision representative this year is the same as Macedonia's Eurovision representative in 2002 – Karolina, former child-star, dandruff model and one of the biggest-selling female artists ever in Macedonia, having sold upwards of 14 albums in her career. All that plus she has a slightly-too-large mouth. Karolina's Eurovision song Mojot Svet is a weird choice – it has a funny beat that sounds intrusive and it's all about… well actually we don't know what it's about because we can't find a translation anywhere, but phonetically Karolina is saying "niner niner nanana-niner, nock ooh arr sa skanki manchuvert" Hope that helps. Oh, the song's rubbish, by the way. Current Eurovision betting odds – 50/1
Tomorrow – Georgia and Germany! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.