Wrestlers are nothing but closet homosexuals who get their kicks by getting close to their fellow man.
Hold on a second, you mean to tell us that a buff man rolling around on the floor grappling with another gentlemen in nothing but lycra trucks isn't gay? Oh well, we?ll use that argument next time we're getting oiled up in the locker room before our next slap-fight.
If the steroids don't get to them first, then wrestlers often face careers cut short by personal embarrassment or injury. Others, however, look to exploit their fame in foreign lands. Japan is usually the place to do this, and Hulk Hogan probably regrets doing this advert which we still don’t understand. Seriously, it isn't clear what he's flogging. If you don't find this amusing, then you deserve to die…
Erm? did you get that? We certainly didn't. However, there are a few possible things he could be trying to promote:
1 ? Some sort of creepy education guide for forcing Japanese children into learning. With the rest of Asia catching up to Japan, the country will want to maintain its status of most shit crazy place in the world for gadgets. So, why not get a wrestler to sing the days of the week to your child so they can recite them to you whilst still in the womb?
2 ? A baby-crushing device. Whilst it may look like an air conditioning unit, it can be doubled up as a contraption to attack and possibly hurt small children if they get out of control. Forget taking their toys away, a clip round the face will shut them up. Well, that's after they've cried from that beating.
3 ? Oh Christ knows, there are fucking rabbits at the end, it could be a message slipped into see if animals will respond to speech and subsequently attack all humans.
Please feel free to give us your suggestions, this really is baffling.
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