Of all the gays in the world, we love Elton John the best.
Not so much that we?d like to replace David Furnish as his partner, but we?d at least like a sly kiss from the rocket man.
Over the years, we've reinacted some of Elton?s finest moments. From throwing tantrums in airports, re-recording songs for dead princesses, trying to shut down the internet and dressing in stupid clothing, we've done it all. Now he's gone and done something equally as crazy by launching his own line of unique iPods! Is there nothing this man can't do?
At the moment, a run-of-the-mill bog-standard iPod which is as common as everyone else?s will set you back around ?200. In these nutbusting credit-crunching times, it may not have been one of Elton?s finest ideas to introduce a spectacular bejewelled iPod design at ?400. Still, he has ensured that the iPods are crazy and unique, just like the creator. Digital Spy reports:
?Sir Elton has ordered 1000 iPods in a range of ten colours, each of which has his signature lasered on the back.?
So you’re probably thinking, “why should I invest?”
a) There are only seven colours in the world ? red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Elton John has made his iPods in ten colours – he’s created three new colours! It'll be like buying a piece of history when he reveals his new oxtronkadon. biazteff and wooper colours.
b) You can use the lasered signature on the iPod to forge cheques for mega expensive items and improve your own crappy life.
c) When Elton dies, it'll go up in value to at least ?500. Then you can look all smug when appearing on The Antiques Roadshow.
A spokesperson for Elton said that his iPods are:
?Extravagant and glamorous just like him.?
If we owned one of these, we wouldn't like that at all. Instead we?d be petrified that the crystals would fall out and lead a gang of knife-wielding hoodies to our frond door, Hansel And Gretel-style. Could happen.