The Oscars are great aren’t they? Tara Reid likened them to spending a few weeks in the Big Brother house… it really doesn’t get any better than that does it? And now, Eddie Murphy appears to have signed up for the show.
Now, you may be thinking that Eddie’s not done much since (allegedly) groping a drag queen’s bulge and successfully having sex with Mel B with no condom on, but you’d be wrong.
See, as Mel B found out when she had group sex with Murphy (Eddie playing the other six participants, including the token amusing overweight elderly lady), the Beverley Hills Cop has a plan to host and win all the Oscars in 2012.
No official decision on the 2012 Academy Awards has been made, but sources close to the awful festival of self? congratulatory fellation say that our Ed is the top candidate to do the honours in February.
Producers of the Oscars – Brett Ratner and Don Mischer – will first have to decide whether they can handle the logistical nightmare that is having a host who wants to not only host it, but also win and present every award under a variety of broadly stroked characters, not to mention performing songs and routines while under 40 inches of latex and make-up.
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis will probably get asked if they can’t be bothered with Eddie Murphy’s increasing and self-imposed loneliness.
In fairness, Murphy might be a great shout. He’s clearly having a nervous breakdown, so it’ll be more fun to watch him forgetting which character he’s playing and crying through a Valley Girl mask, in comparison to recent squibs like James Franco and Anne Hathaway, or the regrettably disappointing Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin.
He’s not even listed at the bookies, so get your money on now before realising Billy Crystal gets given the gig AGAIN.
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