Are you ready for another week of tension, drama, tears and laughs? Then watch Coronation Street! Just kidding, we're back in Albert Square, for a reduced, three episode week of Eastenders ? damn you, Children in Need!
Lauren knows, or thinks she knows that Stacey killed Archie, and she's not happy about it. Why is she so unhappy about it? Maybe it's because her fringe keeps getting in her eyes, or because she keeps changing human.
Suffice to say, she goads Stacey until she gets that vital confession?
Meanwhile, Bianca and Carol argue over where to scatter Billie’s ashes and realise they have no idea what he would have wanted. Carol secretly meets with Connor to ask his advice. On hearing he has nowhere to live; Carol brings Connor back to the flat, and fighting her attraction for him, prepares bedding for the sofa.
Is it just us, or does the sight of Carol getting close to her dead son?s mate make anyone else feel a bit sick?
Meanwhile Zainab vows to have Tamwar walking down the aisle in no time after catching him registering on a dating website; and Phil can’t help but smile when Shirley seductively drops her expensive new coat from her shoulders and reveals her naked body underneath (is he back on crack then?)
Later, Lauren finds Max at the car lot and he is horrified when she declares that she has proof Stacey killed Archie. He begs her not to talk. Later, she asks Stacey if she is sleeping with Max again ? why else is he protecting her? So Stacey reveals that Archie brutally raped her and that good old red cheeks Bradley would have wanted to take the blame, to provide the best possible life for Lily.
At first, Lauren accepts this, but hell hath no fury like a fringe scorned and when Max blows her out to spend time with Stacey, she becomes hell bent on revenge.
What, despite the brutal rape? What a nice girl.
Meanwhile, Carol?s getting close to Connor and Glenda?s noticed it. When Connor leans in for a kiss, Carol responds with passion. Glenda soon susses out what is going on between Carol and her young lover when she hears giggling from the bedroom. And being a bit like Dorien from Birds of a Feather (albeit much more MILFy), she's jealous.
Elsewhere, Jodie and Darren help Tamwar to come up with a new image (can't wait); Phil and Shirley argue over stolen money, Ryan receives a bag full of money from Phil and is told he’ll get the rest once he finishes a mysterious job; and Zainab insists that any girls Tamwar gets have to be Muslim (give the boy a chance!).
Elsewhere, there's a rubbish sounding storyline with Shirley?s no doubt horrid new coat going missing, and Billy thinking frumpy friend Julie has stolen it. Then Roxy accuses her of stealing her money too.
Poor Roxy, her finances are in a real mess. She tells Phil she has to sell the house and says he should buy it from her, but the suggestion is met with an awkward silence. Roxy then says she suspects Julie of stealing the money because of that expensive coat (we can only imagine how glamorous this coat must be, to cause such a commotion in chic Albert Square).
Angry Shirley finds Julie in the market with Billy and after threatening her, Julie finally hands the coat over. She then gives Heather some money to help her out and reveals where the money came from. Shocked but overwhelmed with excitement, Heather throws a handful of notes into the air. As the two women scramble to gather the money back up, Billy enters, catching them red handed. Can he be trusted not to give away their secret?
Meanwhile, Tamwar?s love life is getting going at last, with someone called Afia. And, of course, she doesn't like cool new Tamwar, she wanted the old geeky one. She even gives him a lingering kiss! The romance continues back at Tam’s but when his witch of a mum comes home early, the mood changes as Tam scrambles to think of an excuse. Why doesn't she just marry her own son?
Elsewhere, Stacey texts Max asking him to call her. But Lauren gets there first and reads the text to him. Max says it is not what it looks like, but let's be fair, he has previous. Fed up with the trouble she is causing within the family, Vanessa warns Stacey to stay away from Max and he also reluctantly tells her to steer clear of him for a while.
Distraught, Stacey heads home. And maybe out of the square for good?