It seems like the highly anticipated, but probably ultimately disappointing, collaboration between Versace and H&M is headed for rocky roads. Roads that are as rocky as Donatella Versace?s face.
That’s because the raggedy face fashion luminaire has decided, a few days before the actual range lands in stores, that she doesn't like the look of people who don't advocate bulimia as a life choice, and doesn't want to taint her precious designs by putting them on fatties.
Ridiculous, right? Well, probably not.
Versace is famous for designs that only appeal to women who have less than one percent body fat who bump uglies with men who are in the highest percent of earners who don't pay tax. So why should you be surprised that they aren't suited for you? Would Rocky Dennis be able to find a beanie that would fit his swollen bonce? Of course not. He might as well just staple a quilt together and use that.
The waxwork faced designer has even refused to let ?real women? model them for the promotional campaign, saying:
?Donatella will likely not approve shooting the collection on real women [because they did not] fit Versace?s branding.?
Should we be surprised that Donatella and the people at Versace have no idea what H&M customers are like? Nope. If you think differently, then you probably have no idea what you're talking about. Turn around and go back to your Jeremy Kyle double bill on ITV2.
Just because Versace is one of the most sought after names in fashion doesn't mean that the people behind them aren't pus-filled glory holes. Do we really expect one woman to be able to run the entire Versace empire by herself? Of course not. She may have hair brighter than a thousand suns, but she's not that good.
Nor does it mean that Donatella Versace herself is the person to blame behind this debacle. Even before the range was released, the rumours were that she would never do something along these lines, because the customers aren't the same, and that it would dilute the brand. Which it will. Just because you buy a Versace piece at H&M doesn't mean that it's going to be an authentic piece of fashion history. Because it isn't. Can anyone remember any pieces of the Madonna collaboration? Or the Matthew Williamson one? Exactly. They come and go like erections in the night.
Also, how can Donatella Versace give any advice when we know that she's been practising really hard to reprise her role in Electric Mayhem, the Muppets House Band? She doesn't need this inevitable mess on top of learning the guitar again.
So let's not hold it against her. The poor woman has that face. She's been punished enough.
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