Dita Von Teese, stocking wearing, burlesque performing, porcelain doll and former wife of Marilyn Manson has offensive boobies.? That’s according to CBS. Not us. We kind of like them.
The ever-so-lovely-if-a-little-bit-anaemic Von Teese was filming a guest appearance in CSI.? She will be playing a teacher who, shock-horror and surprise, moonlights as a burlesque performer.
Well, ping our garter elastic, there’s a surprise!? A burlesque performer playing a teacher who is, in fact, a burlesque performer. We hope that is not the big plot twist of the episode.
Getting back to the point. Boobies. In the episode ‘A Kiss Before Frying’, Von Teese lives the double life of school ma’am/gyrating temptress, and to artistically represent the conflicting dichotomy of these diametrically opposed raison d’etres, norks were unleashed.
All in the interest of art of course.
CBS bosses initially decided that Von Teese would best be able to represent her character’s inner turmoil through the excessive exposure of bouncy great chesticles. Which seems a bit patronising really. Dita’s not exactly new to the acting world – she was in Bound in Stockings and in Naked and Helpless. And who could ever forget Tickle Party: Volume 2?
Perhaps the CBS execs were disappointed by the performance her cleavage gave, because they promptly backtracked.? They deemed the double act “offensive”, which Dita doesn’t seem to be pleased with;
“There was a lot of network talk about my ‘offensive cleavage’, which I found interesting considering how much blood and gore there is. We had to take it down a notch.”
Which is a rather good point.
CSI includes gruesome details of imaginative new ways to bump off your fellow man. A lot of people die horribly in CSI. Yet the thought of a bit of skin seems to send the poor chaps at CBS into a bit of a tizz.
Luckily Dita rescued the whole fiasco with a solid and refined performance;
“I think it is important to try new things and I hope my efforts come off well, this was a much bigger role than I originally thought.”
Good for you pet, we’re looking forward to it.? Although we are still waiting for Tickle Party 3D.
The episode will air on CBS on 20th January in the US.? So we’ll have it in the UK at some point in the distant future, long after you’ve forgotten about this article, you bastards.
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