This weekend it emerged that a 10-tonne satellite the size of a bus will smash into Earth at 22,000mph in the next couple of weeks – leaking all sorts of hazardous substances – and nobody knows where it'll hit, putting millions at risk.
In other news, some actors think that Daniel Day-Lewis is quite good at acting.
The SAG awards took place last night, and because it's just about the only awards show where nobody will get booed by the people who write Smallville just for attending, almost every single actor in the world turned up. And by now you'll already be able to guess who won.
The writers' strike has made a right old arsepickle out of awards season this year, and for that we'll be eternally grateful. Because the Screen Actors Guild – the SAG, if you will – officially supports the WGA (Writers Guild Of America. Do keep up), it has banned its members from turning up to anything that the WGA wrinkles its nose at. So the Golden Globes turned into the world's dullest press conference, the People's Choice Awards turned into a retrospective clips show about Drew Barrymore and the Oscars are already flatlining.
But, thanks to a contractual loophole, one awards show that SAG did allow actors to attend was last night's SAG awards. And, knowing that this might be their only chance to be pictured in a newspaper looking massively overdressed and buffed to within an inch of their lives on a red carpet, just about every actor alive decided to turn up.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were there, Tom Cruise was there, Daniel Day-Lewis was there, Cate Blanchett was there, Eva Longoria was there, that annoying scrawny woman from Grey's Anatomy was there, her off Will & Grace was there, Burt Reynolds was there – and by our calculations we're pretty sure that those are all the actors alive at the moment.
But what about the SAG awards themselves? Surely, with the world treating the show as a kind of substitute Oscars, SAG could really pull the rug out from everyone's feet and award trophies to some refreshingly left-field choices. Or perhaps it'd just lob awards at the actors everyone expected instead. Guess.
The winner of the SAG award for Best Male Actor In A Leading Role went to Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood – adding to his Golden Globe, his LA Film Critics award, his New York Film Critics award and his third runner-up prize in the Speen Parish Council summer fete's Guess The Weight Of The Cake contest. No Country For Old Men also won two SAG Awards – Best Ensemble and Best Supporting Actor – adding to its already impressive award tally. And Julie Christie also won for her role in that film about the old lady, just like she has everywhere else.
And, since the SAG awards also honour television performances, we should add that The Sopranos won stuff, 30 Rock won stuff and The Office won stuff. But nobody really cares about any of that because it's just TV.
And that's all. So long as the writers' strike continues it's just this and the Grammys. And, you know, if the WGA wants to come over here and picket the Brits as a favour to us next month, we'd appreciate it.
Read more:
Stars Seize Their Chance to Shine at SAG Awards – New York Times