Day three of our introductory look at the Dancing With The Stars – a show about hardly-famous celebrities jigging around for a while as an elderly British man looks on unforgivingly – and this might just be the best day ever.
That’s no idle boast either – so far in these Dancing With The Stars betting odds we’ve looked at fat sitcom stars, supermodels, one-legged Beatle wives and all sorts of people we’ve never even heard of – but today. Today is the day these Dancing With The Stars betting odds profiles were made for. Because – make no mistake – today’s dancers are so incredible they’re almost religious icons.
Here are the Dancing With The Stars betting odds – for, wait for it, Billy Ray Cyrus and Clyde Drexler – with help from Paddy Power. Billy Ray Cyrus!
Billy Ray Cyrus – Who the hell is Billy Ray Cyrus? Readers of a certain age will be aware of a song entitled Achy Breaky Heart. Achy Breaky Heart was a song so thunderously without merit that some people still believe that it was created by a force too evil to be human. It wasn’t. It was created by Billy Ray Cyrus. Now, we don’t care what else Billy Ray Cyrus has done with his life – we just know that he is the Achy Breaky Heart man and that we want to hurt him. If America dislikes Achy Breaky Heart half as much as we do, they’ll dismiss Billy Ray Cyrus from Dancing With The Stars at the first possible opportunity. Especially if she still has that ratty fucking haircut. Current Dancing With The Stars betting odds – 8/1
Clyde Drexler – Who the hell is Clyde Drexler? In America there is a sport called basketball. In basketball, a bunch of unusually tall men put a ball though a hoop then let another bunch of unusually tall men do the same at the other end of the room, and then they repeat it until everyone falls asleep. Anyway, Clyde Drexler is a basketball player. Whether or not Clyde Drexler is a good basketball player, we just don’t know. There’s a chance. But – and this is the important part – Clyde Drexler is 6ft 7in tall. It’s a well-known fact that when tall people dance they end up looking like spazzy awkward nitwits who couldn’t get a girlfriend if they tried, so for that reason alone we can’t see Clyde Drexler winning Dancing With The Stars. Current Dancing With The Stars betting odds – 8/1
Tomorrow – More of this, obviously. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing With The Stars betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.