Throwing a birthday party is crap because it costs money (creased). However kicking the leftover balloons around your house for weeks afterwards is great (folded).

Folded:

• Kirsty Duffy (Quizmania again. As pretty as a pout can be)
• Uni. of Bath’s Green Car (so funny! Go Sinclair! Go C5!)
• Video for A Dios Le Pido by Juanes (those bonkers geezers at the petrol station could start a new dance craze)
• Boxing bruiser Nicolai Valuev (if you spill this guy’s pint, just stab yourself in the neck with a pencil and be done with it)
• Anne Nicole Smith (such a brave little princess. Well done, legal system)

Creased:

• Politicians (any excuse, any time, to give them a slap)
• Bank holiday blues (anybody else out there sick of being dangled with that 24 hour carrot?)
• Quiz Call (if it’s possible to have a cut price Quizmania presented by a porn star, then this is it)
• New Popworld presenters (thought the last two were annoying? Alex and Alexa specialise in chest pain)
• Lost returns on C4 (log onto 4815162342.com and realise why watching the show will never be as much fun as reading about it)