Happy face and sad face.

Folded:

• Snow in London (watch for the Dunkirk sprit as brave Londoners don wellies and stand on train platforms tweeting)
• Happy New Year (we hope you shall be very rich in 2010, then die of swine flu and leave us all the money)
• Music channels return to normal (no more Noddy Holder’s Drippy Xmas Number Ones, Peter Andre’s Brain Dead Christmas Crackers, etc)
• Big Cup (notice your belt running out of notches? That’s because you eat too many of these wonderfully moorish chocolates. Now look in the mirror and say you couldn’t give a fudge neither)
• Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr. wears an epic frock coat. You won’t pull it off)

Creased:

• Snow up north (the north? You do mean Watford Gap, right?)
• Jeremy Renner from The Hurt Locker looks a bit like Jeremy Kyle (that’s gotta be horrible for the poor guy. Jeremy, we mean, not the Kyle)
• Happy New Ye- (oh, who can be bothered)
• Careless tweeting (got a work account and a personal account? Don’t go getting them in a muddle and swearing at potential customers, will you)
• Taking the decorations down (do not be despondent, if Christmas gets any earlier you will be putting them back up at Easter – which would not make sense for all manner of reasons)