Alec Baldwin is kind of a total dick 99% of the time.? He has anger issues and would probably punch a puppy wearing glasses if the dog dared to look at him for too long.? So why someone would decide to devote all their time and energy on him makes no sense.? Unless we are talking about his much younger, better looking wife, in which case I get because at least you get a fancy life style out of it.? It’s easier to deal with his constant yelling when you are wearing Louboutins.
But for some crazy reason, Baldwin got himself a bat shit crazy stalker and took her single white female ass to court.? Of course, the stalker claims Baldwin is a dirty liar and they are SO IN LOVE, and tries to prove she isn’t a few cards short of a full deck by acting a fool in the courtroom.
Oh Liz Lemon, where are you when Jack needs you, girl?
Genevieve Sabourin is some “actress” who appeared in the gigantic flop The Adventures of Pluto Nash (I don’t remember it either) with Baldwin a good decade ago.? She claimed he gave her his number, but since he was still legally banging Kim Basinger, she didn’t use it then.? Fast forward a few years and bizarre Baldwin rants later, she decided that hooking up with a guy who called his teenage daughter a “disgusting little pig” was a brilliant move.? Now, here is where it gets funky.? Sabourin claims they started a love affair after a night out on the town.? They spent the night?banging like gorillas, with Baldwin using this awesome line the next?morning before he high tailed it out of there:
“I make the best omelets in the world and I’d be happy to make you omelets every morning for the rest of your life.”
That should have Sabourin’s major red flag that Baldwin was not in this for the long haul.? There is no way that the this pompous ass cooks any of his own food.? Ever.
Baldwin claims they had dinner, she didn’t kiss his ass enough for him to bother staying past the morning, and that was it. But, Genevieve was hooked on his saggy nipples and berating nature.? Sabourin couldn’t just let her puffy version of Noah Calhoun go, so she began to gently remind him of how great she was.? All the time.? Like 30 emails a day.? Multiple phone calls.? Showing up to this apartment without being invited.? So, Alec decided to sue her for stalking, which apparently Sabourin loved because she hammed it the hell up for photographers every chance she got.? I guess there are some that still believe any publicity is good publicity.
Anyone who has ever seen Judge Judy knows to shut the hell up in the courtroom and act right.? Unless you’re the lawyer, or you ass is on the stand, you sit there like a stone.? Sabourin just couldn’t stop herself though from yelling out shit, laughing like a hyena,?and calling Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria, a prostitute.? Which is kind of hilarious, since that would make more sense than her actually being in love with the jackass.
But Sabourin just couldn’t control herself, and was reprimanded by the judge multiple times for not shutting the fuck up.? A bunch of emails that Sabourin sent were read aloud in court, and it’s very clear that Genevieve needs a set of Hooked on Phonics because homegirl’s spelling?and grammar skills are atrocious.? But it’s also clear that she really wanted to be with Baldwin, which proves she must be fucking nuts.
Baldwin brought his best Made for TV acting skills and cried on the stand, remembering how Sabourin ruined his “engagement day” (da hell is that?!) by showing up to his apartment.? He told how he and his wife are terrified of Sabourin, that she is just a cray cray gnat that wouldn’t go away.? Hilaria took the stand to also tell some tales of Sabourin’s showing up uninvited to their home and how she had to call the cops, who probably have Baldwin’s address saved as a favorite on their GPS since they seem to have to go there pretty often.
At the end of the day, Sabourin refused to back down because she was the real victim here!? Baldwin promised her mother fucking eggs for life and he reneged on the deal!? She got a ride on the Alec love train, and then she was cruelly booted off.?? At one point she yelled that to Baldwin that he “deleted women after you have sex with them,” which after all of this I bet he wished he really was able to do.
This was why she wouldn’t go away,and wanted to go to court-she truly felt she was not in the wrong here, that she was just trying to understand what their (non existent when the sun rose) relationship status was. It kind of sounds like Genevieve didn’t fully get that she was just another one night stand, and as a woman scorned she wanted answers Alec wasn’t willing to give.
And if Sabourin could have just reeled?in her PMS fueled rants in court, she would have?most likely?gotten away with a slap on the wrist.? Instead, the judge obviously is a?30 Rock?fan, because he went totally overboard and gave?girlfriend 7 months in jail.? 7 freaking months.? Chris Brown beats the shit out of Rihanna’s face and doesn’t get that.? Lindsay Lohan kidnaps people and drives drunk and doesn’t get that.??Kristen Stewart permanently damaged our eyes by starring in multiple Twilight?films and she didn’t get shit.? But a groupie ho send a few Google?Chats too many and she gets?over half a year in the clinker?
And how did Baldwin celebrate his win and freedom from his very scary petite blonde stalker?? Oh, just a little homophobic ranting at a photographer outside of his apartment.? Yea, Sabourin is the crazy one.