David Arquette – a man who looks like a folded pizza made with hair – had a tricky end of 2010, opening and closing his mouth and letting all kinds of simpleton rubbish fall out, all of course, regarding the fact he’d been putting the tip in with some young woman who wasn’t his wife, Courteney Cox.
And of course, in Hollywood, the best thing to do when you’ve made a boob is to check into a rehab. It’s like confession for even thicker people.
Courteney Cox doesn’t just have too many e’s in her first name, but she’s also sticking up for her suet-faced ex and generally acting like a rake-thin cheerleader for his recovery from… well… he’s not really recovering from anything by the looks of it.
Couereteneye Coxe says:
?I really admire David and his choice to take charge and better his life?
That’s right! He’s bettering his life by going locking himself away to talk to people about the awful problems that have befallen him, like enjoying a cheeky snifter or getting to have sex with women three times younger than him.
BOO HOO.
Cox and Arquette announced their separation in October which left literally no-one gasping in shock and horror.
A source says:
“Rehab was inevitable. He is dealing with a broken heart. He can't handle all the changes in his life. All his inner demons came out.”
Like all men who break-up with a gal, Arquette has been down the pub a lot. Of course, this means he’s ‘partying’ a lot in the eyes of those weird, eerily toothed puritans of LA. To us Brits, it probably means he’s had quite a few hangovers over Christmas which is completely and utterly normal, unless you’re a big soft shit.
Talking to Howard Stern, Arquette said:
“I've been drinking a lot.”
“Courteney said she doesn't want to be my mother. I kind of need a mother right now. I need a girl to come bring me some soup and make sure I'm all right. I like that, and I take care of my ladies, too.”
As for ?his ladies,? Arquette presumably got an amazing array of ‘soup’ from nubile Hollywood waitress Jasmine Waltz, who was the clarion call for the end of Arquette’s relationship. Maybe she allowed Arquette to spill his ‘soup’ all over her ‘bread rolls’ and ‘vagina’.
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