Remember when Charlie Sheen was fun to write about? Remember that? He had people cowering in cupboards, suitcases of cocaine and had a nervous breakdown before our very eyes. And now? He’s gone from meme to admin. How terribly dull.
Instead of standing on rooftops waving a machete around, he’s involved in a boring tour and tangled up in a load of boring court tape.
And so, to provide some brief distraction, his ex wife has gone into rehab and another ex, actress Denise Richards, has appeared from nowhere to say that she’ll look after Sheen’s children for a bit. Yes. We’re writing about babysitting.
Denise ‘gets her rack out in absolutely every film she stars in’ Richards has called Charlie Sheen on his TigerPhone (or whatever he calls it) and offered herself as a completely normal person who could take informal custody of his twins, Bob and Max.
This happened shortly after Denise saw footage of Charlie’s estranged wife, Brooke Mueller, trying to flog her possessions in a bid to get some pennies in her purse. As she’s going to rehab and currently gets obscene amounts of money from Sheen already, we can only assume she was selling her belongings so she could by some glue to sniff.
All the while, the now very, very, very dull Charlie is preparing for court in an attempt to get full custody of the children, who will be marvellously warped by the time they hit their teens, giving plebs like us the chance to laugh in the face of someone’s mental health issues all over again.
While Sheen is in court fighting for the right to bring his children up in an environment which is clearly not even healthy for a grown human, he may as well kill two birds with one stone and file papers to sue Chuck Lorre after he got Sheen fired for being an uncontrollable penis.
We can only hope they get this all sorted quickly so we don’t have to write about it anymore.
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