So, Charlie Sheen has decided that going back and forth between hating and sharing a crack pipe with each of his ex wives wasn’t enough drama for him to deal with, so he’s going to wife up his sex-on-film-for-pay girlfriend.
Why is he still allowed to make decisions for himself when he is obviously terrible at them? Has anyone tried to call Adult Protective Services yet? Sheen needs himself a Daddy Spears to take over and run his life before he makes any more children that will one day single-handedly support the livelihoods of an entire group of psychiatrists.
For the last few months, Charlie Sheen has been shacking it up with porn star, Brett Rossi. Technically, she is a “former” porn star since she stopped dropping her panties on camera once she realized she could make way more bank by handing Sheen his crack pipes while bent over. Sheen has never hid the fact that he likes his women dirty and open, ideally with questionable morals. However, he tends to keep these ladies of the night in the supporting role of girlfriend.
But all that has changed now with Rossi. Sheen is so smitten he’s decided to potentially lose half of his assets to make her his wife. Just kidding, you know Charlie will have a rock solid pre-nup as long as he stays off the bad shit long enough to remember how stupid it would be not tot. If these two actually make it down the aisle, which is a 50/50 shot if I am being generous, this will be Charlie’s 4th marriage. Although Sheen would like to remind us that his first marriage was annulled, so we shouldn’t count that shit in our judgment.
?With all due respect to Donna ?
that maiden Klay-Vinn was annulled.
Therefore,
if ?three?
truly is a charm;
The mashup/acronym
of the real CS,
(Charlie & Scottie)
HAS to be;
?Char-M-stee??
xox
c&s?
The fuck kind of crackhead poetry is this? Oh god, please tell me Charlie plans to write his own vows and that the entire shitshow will be live streamed for our viewing enjoyment.
Since we all have seen how fantastic Sheen is as both a husband and an ex, I am sure Rossi is super excited for her future. Sheen is the epitome of level headedness and maturity, so this can’t possibly blow up Hiroshima style. Just ask Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller how well marrying Charlie worked out for them.