The all talking and stumbling real life meme, Charlie Sheen has been so omnipotent in the press lately that, sadly for him, he’s probably starting to think he’s the God we sarcastically said he was months ago.
Naturally, this will lead to either an inevitable return to obscurity or a premature death. The former is more likely, the latter will no doubt make him some kind of flash in the pan celebrity martyr where onlookers effectively willed him to jump from the ledge because we had nothing better to do than goad a mentally ill man.
And we nearly got our chance to literally hoot him to the ground as, after being fired from the dismal Two And A Half Men, Sheen celebrated his new found freedom (aka P45) by climbing on top of an office building, wielding a machete and drinking out of a bottle. Tiger blood, it seems, isn’t very useful for making a human run correctly (it’s great for t-shirt slogans though).
So, Sheen who recently put his own rambling talk show (him talking to himself mainly – his favourite type of interview no doubt) online, decided to celebrate his sacking by climbing to the top of the Live Nation building in Beverly Hills while thrashing a machete around and swigging win juice or something equally irksome.
When asked what he was planning to do next, Sheen didn’t shout ‘I’M GOING TO THROW MYSELF TO THE GROUND BUT I SHALL SURVIVE BECAUSE I’M MADE OUT OF REINFORCED GNARLY WINNINGTON!’, but rather, yelled:
“I ain’t gonna go to f—ing Disneyland, I’ll tell you that much.”
Useful information. We imagine the list of places that Sheen isn’t planning on visiting is an extensive one, so we’re pleased that he managed to keep it down to just the one location.
Once he’d been talked off the ledge, Sheen was asked if he was excited about being released from his contract.
“Let me just say, free at last, free at last”
And Sheen still wants to sue Warner Bros. over his termination.
Jesus wept.
He was less embarrassing when he was beating up furniture and hoovering up suitcases of weapons grade cocaine and giving himself a hernia while making his ex-wife cry.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!