Charlie Sheen sort of calmed down the craziness for a while.? No more ranting about “WINNING!” or filling his house with?porn stars or?drinking dragon’s blood.? He quieted down, worked on his new show, spent time with his kids, and continued to sleep with one professional sex star at a time.
But shit’s going down now.? Sheen’s ex wife, Brooke Mueller, has been off the crack for more than 2 minutes so she is apparently fighting for more custody of their twins, and Sheen is not having it.? He’s calling Brooke out publicly for the hot mess that she is, and making weird creepy threats against her and the entire Department of Child and Family Services.
The twins are currently under the custody of Sheen’s other ex, Denise Richards.? Even Sheen knows that the former call girl turned his ex wife is more stable than either kid’s parent, which is just sad as shit.
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have a set of twin boys from their train wreck of a marriage.?? People didn’t think it was possible for Charlie to marry someone on his level of fucked upness, but he managed to do it.? Since their divorce, both of them have gone off the deep end multiple times.? So much so that Denise Richards, Sheen’s previous ex wife and father of his two daughters, has physical custody of?twins Bob and Max.
Years ago, Richards told anyone who would listen about how terrible of a person Charlie was?and how she suffered a ton of abuse from him, but I guess in times of need (and for the right amount of money) all sins can be forgiven.? Now Brooke wants her boys back, mostly I am sure because she truly misses them and not because?that means she will get to cash Charlie’s child support checks again.
Brooke has had more attempts at rehab than even Lindsay Lohan at this point, and when she is out she doesn’t seem to last very long before shooting the bad shit up again, but for someone crazy reason she thinks she should have her kids back full time.
Charlie Sheen, for all intents and purposes, isn’t on drugs anymore, but even he isn’t insane enough to think he is full time daddy material.? When he isn’t tied down by a gold ring on his finger, Sheen enjoys the pleasures of Hollywood’s most morally questionable ladies, as well as other non-kid friendly activities, so while he may love his kids he sure as hell doesn’t want to be a single dad.
Now Brooke is fighting to get the kids back and Sheen is losing his?mind because of it.? He knows how fucking terrible of a mom a crackhead is, so he along with Denise are fighting back hard.? And he isn’t just attacking her because of her addiction, he also calls her out for being an unsafe place for Bob and Max.
And a whore (which really isn’t much of a diss since that’s basically the requirement for him to sleep with you). He even takes it to a theatrical step and quotes a line from Apocalypse Now that his dad says, “I am beyond their timid lying morality, therefore I am beyond caring.”? Sheen then starts going in on the agencies involved in his sons’ safety.
“What my family and I are forced to deal with in the last 4 years, lives outside? the pale of any acceptable conduct or decency. I am battling an amorphous enemy? that needs to be swiftly disempowered….. These crimes against my children will be exposed.? These war criminals will? be hanged at dusk to a cheering and jeering crowd, gathered together in love in? support of all children who are mercilessly discarded like garbage by CPS. Which? by the way stands for ‘CAN’T PROTECT SHITE.'”
He also brings back creepy Charlie style?threats, which are both dramatic and kind of don’t make a ton of sense.
“The storm is brewing.? Their roofs are leaking. I am the Tsunami your? mommy warned you about your whole childhood.?? All of you renegade?deplorable pigs are marked for slaughter.”
Brooke went to a judge to get Charlie to shut the fuck up, since apparently there is a gag order in place that prohibits either of them from talking shit about the other.? Obviously that was probably deemed a good idea back when Charlie was on the verge of total meltdown and getting fired from Two and a Half Men, but now seems to be working against Charlie.?? The judge agreed and told Sheen to shut his trap, which was probably also prompted by the fact that Charlie called him “The Dishonorable Judge Douchebag.”
Even worse is that Denise no longer wants to keep the twins at her home.? Seems the boys are kind of totally fucked up and try to constantly kill Richards’ dogs, which is sad but not really surprising given their genetic makeup.
Denise says they need therapy (no fucking duh) but that Brooke blocks them from getting help, which makes totally sense since any shrink worth half his fake doctorate would say it’s all her fault (Of course Charlie doesn’t help) and Brooke seems to have a problem accepting responsibility for being a terrible fucking parent.
This shit is going to so get worse before it gets better, but I really hope the judge drops the gag order.? I kind of love the fuckery that comes out of Sheen’s mouth.? It’s some dark ass Shakespeare shit (if Shakespeare did too much coke and acid) and amusing as hell.
Of course, in the center of all of this are two little boys who are showing signs of being the next Menendez Brothers, so it’s not all fun and games.? If Denise no longer is in control of them, the only stable thing in their life is shot to shit and it’s not going to end well for anyone.