Monday is here again. And you know what that means? Well, for a start that cheerleader you keep in your basement is all due her weekly meal. And – maybe more importantly, but we wouldn't like to impose – it's also time for hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition.
This week we're fixating on a particular favourite target of ours – no-talent skag-rocker Pete Doherty and his latest shambling junkie exploits which, in the least surprising turn of events you''ll hear all day, mainly involve getting arrested on drugs charges again.
But first let's take a look at our last winner…
In our previous comp, we asked you to come up with the best Haiku about the fact that lovely young songstress Katie Melua had apparently become a lovely young songstress lesbian. The winner was a chap by the name of Smoodge The Naked, whose ditty ran thus:
What’s on the menu?
A Katie-Lara sandwich
Can I be the meat?
Well done, you cheeky scamp. The honour of having your name in lights (or pixels) is all yours.
But what about you? Don't you want the chance to prove your haiku-writing skills to the whole goshdarn world? Easy there, tiger, we're going to give you the chance.
Simply toddle out the best Haiku about this week's topical celebrity story:
'Singer' Pete Doherty has been arrested for drugs offences. Again.
All you have to do is remember the golden rule of haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. An example would go a little somethin' like this:
So Pete is under
arrest again? I'm so bored!
When will he just die?
Think you can do better? Show us, then. Entries in the comments box below…
Read more:
Holly says
Possession of crack
is rather passé surely?
Pete begs to differ.
Linzi says
Pete Doherty off
his face again, who cares
not me the thick prick
Give Peace A Chancre says
Portugese implants
if fitted improperly
can snag inside waifs.
sam says
suck my big dick
fuck you pete haters dicks
fuck all your mums dads
Simon R. Gladdish says
Pete’s got eleven GCSE’s!
He must be a genius!
Perhaps that’s why he takes so many drugs!