The riots in London have seen unprecedented horseshit. People are randomly saying place names and everyone is getting really jumpy, wishing they’d built nuclear bunkers filled with sausages and beans in a tin, where they’ll hide until armageddon comes.
Today has seen Londoners going out in force with brooms and bin bags, attempting to tidy up the mess caused by the fires and looting. Some of them will no doubt find a load of iPads under a hedge and trouser them.
But where are our celebrities? Well, they’re hiding in their gated communities, tweeting about it all like they give two hoots, condemning the rioters and ordering everyone to tidy up because, let’s face it, they’re certainly not going to do it.
Jessie J, Wayne Rooney and Stephen Fry are among the stars who have spoken out against the marauding marauders of London on Twitter.
Wayne Rooney wrote:
“These riots are nuts why would people do this to there own country. Own city. This is embarrassing for our country. Stop please.”
*SIGH* It’s like listening to one of Martin Luther King’s speeches isn’t it? Meanwhile, Piers ‘listened to a voicemail of Paul McCartney but doesn’t seem to think anything is peculiar about that’ Morgan was in typically sympathetic mood:
“Millions of people are suffering in this financial crisis, but not looting/rioting/pillaging – no sympathy for these yobs whatsoever.”
Jessie J, meanwhile, wafted her hand and asked for everyone else to do the dirty work of cleaning up London, saying:
“Calling all #heartbeats please go to www.riotcleanup.com and see where you can help get London back to how we all deserve it to be. #riotcleanup”.
Stephen Fry was a little more helpful, but not much:
“I do hope that if I was in London now I’d be as good & brave & kind as all those who are agreeing to meet & help clean up #RiotCleanup”.
Elsewhere, the news blames twitter for organising the riots in the first place because they really don’t understand the internet yet.
Anyway, hands-up who laughed because this is all happening in London?
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