There’s a saying in these parts: ‘You can take the lady out of The View, but you can’t stop her from screeching about it like a fat lunatic.’
And it’s true, too. Just the other week, Star Jones was screeching about The View like a fat lunatic and we don’t even know who she is. And now it’s the turn of Rosie O’Donnell to do the same, although helpfully since she acts like a fat lunatic most of the time anyway, it’s easier for her.
Rosie O’Donnell has been involved in a spat with the old Skeletor lady from The View because Rosie O’Donnell says everyone on The View hates each other and Skeletor lady says they don’t. But it’s much more interesting than that because… no, wait. It’s not more interesting than that. That’s literally as interesting as this gets. A fat lady has shouted at an old lady. As you were, everyone.
Next week, some bright spark has decided to let Rosie O’Donnell back on the TV, where she’ll host her very own primetime variety show. It’s Rosie’s big chance to prove that she’s more than the angry red-faced one from The View who looked like she’d come round and shove firecrackers into your dog’s anus if you ever disagreed with her about anything.
So the promotion of this new show was always going to need a full-on charm offensive from Rosie. No wailing about the war, no being a lesbian any more than she had to, and definitely no starting fights with anyone. And definitely no mentions of The View.
So naturally Rosie O’Donnell decided to start a fight with everyone on The View. Rosie told reporters:
“[Barbara Walters] wanted everyone to believe and think and act as if [the women on The View] get along and are really good friends and happy and hang out together, and, you know, that’s just not the reality. I’m not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera.”
But, hey, that’s just Rosie O’Donnell being Rosie O’Donnell. Being forthright and sort of obnoxious is what she does best. And gracefully ignoring problems to the extent where you think she’s either dozed off or died peacefully while nobody was looking is what Barbara Walters does, which is why she didn’t react to Rosie O’Donnell at all. Apart from when she did, by going on The View and saying this:
“There are some people who have done this show and then for years feel they have to dump on it, maybe for publicity, and that not only hurts me, but I resent it. So if the shoe fits, lady—ladies—get on with your lives.”
Notice that Barbara Walters referred to ‘ladies’ there. That’s either because she was talking about Star Jones who recently had a similar outburst about The View, or because Rosie O’Donnell is now so fat she can only be alluded to in the plural. We can’t really be bothered to find out.
Anyway, so that’s it. Rosie O’Donnell said something mean about Barbara Walters, Barbara Walters said something mean back to Rosie O’Donnell and that’s it. Oh, except that Rosie O’Donnell has decided to say something mean back to Barbara Walters in a webcam message on her blog even though nobody really asked her to. E! Online:
O’Donnell posted a video item titled “Lady,” which shows the former talk show host making faces in response to Walters’ remarks. “Whew, I do not know what Star Jones and Debbie Matenopoulos did,” O’Donnell sarcastically adds at the end, name-checking two other examples of View cohosts past. “Whew, lady, she is pissed off.”
And that’s definitely it now. Both women have said their piece and both The View and Rosie O’Donnell’s show have got piles of publicity because of it. True, this Rosie O’Donnell/ Barbara Walters fight will probably result in an attention-strapped Elisabeth Hasselbeck trying to muscle in on the spotlight by setting herself on fire while running around kicking puppies in the sternum within the next few days, but we should probably just deal with that when it happens.