Hey! Think about this. Get a really good image of it in your mind. Get it really clear. Think of the juices being swapped between two consenting adults. Think of the grunty sex noises. Okay? Got there?
Now, imagine Cameron Diaz and Sean ?Diddy? Combs doing it proper with each other.
Doesn’t make any sense does it? You just can’t imagine it now. All those vivid images have dissipated into the ether with a confused shrug. However, this is real life. Someone has seen them slobbering all over each other. It must be real. It has to be real.
According to the NYPost, the unlikely pair were caught kissing on Saturday night at some stupid place called PH-D at the Dream Downtown Hotel.
People spying on a couple because they had nothing better to do note that Diddy came to meet Diaz at her table at about 1:15 a.m. That’s far too late to be meeting people. You should be in bed, glaring at the ceiling in the darkness by that point, thinking about how awful you are.
Anyway, Puff/P Diddles/Panda Comb/Seany Dando/Daddy Poo/Diddn’t/Whatever He’s Called Now, ordered multiple bottles of Ciroc, Grey Goose and Patr?n, while onlookers drank drip-tray from the bar and asked the bar staff for ‘two’s on that fag’.
Probably.
Some absolutely trustworthy source said:
?They were kissing and making out? and continued being ?very affectionate? while they danced.”
They then LEFT TOGETHER, quite possibly to go and have ‘sexual intercourse’ on a foldaway Z bed at Puff Doodah’s bedsit which smells like Super Noodles.
Diaz’s rep still reckons that the two are:
?friends and are not dating.?
Shag buddies. That’s what they are. The dirty slags.