We hear congratulations are in order.?WE KNOW! WE KNOW! A Cosmopolitan… Oh alright, fine. Here’s the news, killjoys.
Bruce Willis has successfully?impregnated?another shiny, shiny woman with his brutal gametes. He must stop, really. He’s destroyed so much beauty in the universe already.
Yes, that’s the one. Bruce Willis and a woman called Emma Heming (Well, there’s our new pub quiz team name sorted.) are having an ooh-baby-baby. Oh sorry, we should do that skeptical “comma, insert incredibly old age” thing that the Daily Mail do to highlight how wrong it is when people attempt to achieve things outside the realms of The Good Life.
Bruce Willis, FIFTY ANCIENT SIX YEARS OH MY GOD OLD is having a baby.
“The couple are overjoyed with this news and they look forward to welcoming this newest addition into their family”
Said somebody who has never so much as looked at Bruce Willis, let alone had a chat with him over a beer about how stupid he was for knocking up another varnished 35 year old bit of stuff, and instead giving her an actual human purpose in the universe instead.
Let’s hope it’s a boy this time, because although you can construct a 30 yr- action movie career based entirely on having a very hard neck (Or 12, in the case of Matt Damon) You really, really cannot start shoving those kind of?polynucleotides?into the chins of the female children of Demi Moore without consequences.
BEST WISHES, BRUCE AND EMMA!
PS: Thank god Bruce is bringing a new life into this definitely not over populated-come on in!-world. Look what he starts getting up to when we leave him alone for five minutes.