Bruce Willis is back, baby! Back doing what he does best! Making dumbass action films? No. Being married to Demi Moore? No. Absolutely in now way at all smashing up a member of the paparazzi's face? Yes, that one.
Last week, a snapper named Anthony Goodwich claimed that Bruce Willis slammed a camera into his face on his way into a Los Angeles restaurant. And Bruce Willis is getting all yippie-kay-ay on Goodwich's ass – he's claiming that he didn't physically assault the snapper, and he's suing him for a million dollars.
21st Century Bruce Willis is a bit rubbish. You know it, we know it and Bruce Willis knows it. The vast majority of films he's been in have been rubbish, and now he's resorted to doing funny animal voices in films like Over The Hedge. Could it get much lower for Bruce Willis? There's only one thing for it – so Bruce Willis is currently gritting his teeth and pretending for all he's worth that it's 1990 again. It's true – he's making Die Hard 4 and hanging out with the Planet Hollywood lot again. If only there was a way for him to regain his old badboy image, too…
Wait, there is. Yesterday, Bruce Willis filed a lawsuit against Anthony Goodwich, a photographer who claimed that Willis angrily assaulted him on the way into LA restaurant Koi last week. At the time, Goodwich filed a police report about the incident, and then gave an interview to TMZ.com saying how Bruce Willis smashed his face up all angry-like. Photos that accompanied the TMZ piece showed Goodwich with broken teeth and a scratched nose.
Bruce Willis claims that he he didn't assault anyone, though, and he wants a million dollars from anyone who flipping well says he did. Instead of wigging out like a big prima donna and breaking Goodwich's face, Willis says that all the flashing lights from the camera were hurting his eyes, and he put his hands up merely to stop his brain being confused by all the flash flash, and any contact made was "minimal and inadvertent". Any talk of assault is defamation of character and, according to the lawsuit, has hurt Willis':
"reputation and standing in the community… [he's suffered] shame, mortification, hurt feelings, embarrassment, humiliation [and] damage to the value of his name, likeness and goodwill."
Well, we think that was the lawsuit against Goodwich we were reading. It could just have easily been a report on how Bruce Willis should have been affected after agreeing to star in The Whole Ten Yards.
UPDATE – A video of the Bruce Willis Mouth Attack, or a bald man accidentally clipping a photographer and then apologising a lot
[story by Stuart Heritage]