We have an announcement that will no doubt shock you all. We’ve decided that after squandering our pop star fame, pumping out a couple kids we can’t seem to take care of without child welfare getting involved, and constantly redefining the bounds of what is so not classy, we’ve decided to don a pink wig and run off to be a circus clown with a brand new puppy as our hilarious prop. Oh, wait… that’s not us, that’s Britney Spears.
So maybe the circus clown thing was just a suggestion of ours for Britney, but we think it might be a good idea for her since she obviously has no aversion to ridiculous costumes and she’d be able to escape all those heartless entertainment bloggers that criticise her every move without shame. The latest on the Britney Spears bashing bandwagon is The Humane Society of the United States, which has criticised Britney for her purchase of a new puppy from a pet store instead of The Humane Society. So, basically, the whole world’s in agreement that she shouldn’t undertake the care of any living thing.
Poor Brit. Can’t a girl inconspicuously wear a pink wig and random, ill-fitting clothing, purchase an animal and carry it like an evening clutch purse without condemnation? Obviously, not. The Humane Society of the United States issued a statement expressing its concern over Britney purchasing a purebred Yorkshire Terrier from a pet store because pet store dogs are likely to come from puppy mills. As tragic as puppy mills are, it’s interesting that such statements haven’t been issued regarding other celebrities purchasing their dogs from pet stores, but maybe that’s because nobody really classifies miniature rat dogs carried around in horrendously overpriced Louis Vuitton dog carriers as dogs, or something.
Stephanie Shain, a spokesperson for the Humane Society, further expressed concern over the haste with which Britney Spears seemingly purchased her new distraction from the mounting issues that entangle her life:
"Choosing a dog is a major lifestyle decision that should not be taken lightly. We suggest that people take time to choose a member of their family, and to be sure they are working with a reputable breeder."
Such advice would have been very useful back when Britney Spears was picking out her husbands, no? But despite the finger wagging, shame-shame action, Shain follows up with love by offering to help Britney make sure her dog is legit:
“If you send us a copy of your dog’s papers, we’d be happy to look into the situation for you."
Again, an offer that would have been much more timely and beneficial when Kevin Federline came onto the scene.
Isn’t there a guideline for those recently released form rehab to start out with a plant and if you can keep it alive for a certain amount of time, then you can move onto a pet, or something? Hopefully, there isn’t a dead fern in the corner of her house somewhere that has died from neglect, and hopefully it was not purchased at a plant store because those plants tend to come from plant mills. We can only hope.
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