It’s a good thing that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline separated; his Sperm of Steel would have wrecked her womb for good.
Britney filed for divorce from Kevin on 7 November, 2007; only days before her entire reproductive system would have caved in, from the constant sperm attacks and the overuse. We’re not even kidding. Somewhere in their legal papers, ‘tired womb’ is listed in crayon as the reason for the split.
Maybe we’re exaggerating. Maybe it’s not entirely fair to blame Kevin for knocking-up a third woman, with his fifth child, in eight years. He can hardly be expected to account for every individual one of his swimmers. That’d be madness.
Or, you know, cheaper.
Kevin’s spokesperson isn’t making an official comment about whether his client is going to be parent to a fifth child – a baby who’d be half-sibling to the sons of Britney.
However, it’s being reported, by just about every American outlet who enjoys schadenfreude as much as we, that Kevin impregnated his girlfriend-of-two-years, Victoria Prince. Add to that, pictures from the weekend of Britney’s eldest son protectively clinging to his father’s girlfriend’s stomach as the paparazzi looked on. And ba-zing! We’ve got a baby!
From People:
It’s Papa Zao time again for Kevin Federline.? The former backup dancer and onetime rapper is expecting his fifth child this summer ? his first baby with girlfriend Victoria Prince, a source tells PEOPLE. Federline is already a father of four: sons Jayden, 4, and Preston, 5, with ex-wife Britney Spears; and son Kaleb, 6, and daughter Kori, 8, with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson.? This will be Prince’s first child. Federline, 33, and Prince, 28, a former professional volleyball player, have been dating for more than two years.
We guess this is no different at all than Scary Spice, Mel B, getting pregnant by a third guy; already having children by Eddie Murphy and her first husband. But it’s still alarming.
Wait. Should we, at hecklerspray, all be breeding and producing babies with at least three of the other writers? Egads!
We’re getting no younger… we’ll be back in five minutes. No, six minutes. All that sexy turkey baster action isn’t going to botch itself.
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, who has thus far not had one of K-Feds babies growing inside her. So hurray to that then.
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