When you adopt thousands of children on a semi-regular basis, you gotta have somewhere to put them. Land though, land simply ain't big enough. The ocean on the other hand, is quite large.
And that's why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have decided to move their brood into Earth's oceanic waterways. When we first heard the Pitt-Jolies were moving to the water we thought it sounded awesome, and that the whole lot of 'em must be extraordinary swimmers. We didn't fear for them because we knew they'd probably find inclusion in a protective dolphin pod. Then we were reminded by an aquarium full of uppity fish that an Aquaman-type life style is pure fallacy, and young Pax would likely cramp up and drown with whales and things not so much as lifting a flipper.
Imagine our relief then when we realised the Jolie-Pitts were moving into a boat that would actually be on the water. Yes, it's much safer up top.
Gene Hackman, Leonardo DiCaprio, unless you're craving plank get the hell outta here! The Pitt-Jolies do not need boat sinkers like you two scuttling about their decks inviting none but bad luck and hull-splitting. And another thing – when Brangelina finally do acquire the absolutely massive marble-encrusted yacht that's currently being electronically rumoured around the world, please nobody gawk.
After all, it's just a boat like anyone else's boat. It's gonna have the same helicopter landing pad as comes standard, and it's gonna have the exact same submarine attached to it as everyday joe-blows have on their own stupid boats. As News24 describes it:
"The yacht will be built in the shipyard of Civitavecchia, a port town north of Rome, by luxury shipbuilder Privilege Yard Spa, which said on Wednesday that the couple has commissioned an 85-meter-long yacht for $268 000. Delivery is set for July 2009.
"The passenger cabin will include two 300-square-meter apartments, plus two guest suites of 150 square meters each. Other features include a swimming pool, a heliport, speedboats and a small submarine that will allow guests to explore the sea up to a depth of 300 meters."
Did you all read everything that yacht comes with? Why do the Jolie-Pitts need an armada like that? Are they gonna take their next child by force? Are they simultaneously purchasing torpedo-mounted warheads? Are they gonna anchor off the horn of Africa until a native government topples in their favour? Well if that's the plan we sure hope they're patient. Seriously, we were floating there for over a week before the natives violently inserted our monarchy. And then they still griped about tax. The next nation we conquer is gonna be first world all the way.
Somebody mapquest 'New Zealand'. Your King commands it.
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estrell says
What’s wrong with you Shawn? You sounds like full of jealousy because you can not afford. I bet if you can you would. So, drop the disgruntle words and can people specially you SHAWN be happy when people can afford to buy something for them self? If you know how to be honest and respect other for their life style instead write about being jealous but happy for them. That why people works so hard to obtain their dreams and goal before they reach the age that they can not do it anymore. Why don’t you create your own memories and don’t ruin others for theirs.