On Friday, all kinds of movies with giant profiles were released, so you'd have expected that at least one of them would have been able to do better in the US weekend box office than Pirates Of The Caribbean 2, wouldn't you?
Well guess what Sherlock, none of them managed it. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is still sitting proudly at the top of the weekend box office chart, for the third weekend now. What's more, Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest took $12 million more than its nearest rival, and has probably broken all kinds of new records, like the Highest 10-Day Figure record and the Stupidest Most Overlong Advert For Another Film That Isn't Even Out For Another Year record.
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is streaking ahead of every other movie that's been released this year, to the detriment of some of the other movies in the US weekend box office chart. Clerks II, for example, couldn't even manage to sneak into the weekend box office top five, even after director Kevin Smith took to a radio station to shout down a film critic who walked out of a screening. Even worse was My Super Ex-Girlfriend, which limped into the US weekend box office chart at number seven. We're particularly shocked at that, since the thought of the rubbish woman from Be Cool throwing a badly animated shark at Owen Wilson's less good brother fills us with nothing but unadulterated joy. Or something. Anyway, here's the US weekend box office top five…
1 – Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (Now that Johnny Depp is the biggest filmstar on the planet, maybe a critical evaluation of his 1985 Florida sex comedy Private Resort is in order. Please) $35,049,000
2 – Monster House (A film which uses the same animation technology as The Polar Express. But this film is supposed to be a bit creepy, unlike The Polar Express – which was so unintentionally creepy that we now instinctively lash out at any bearded men we pass in the street) $23,000,000
3 – Lady In The Water (M. Night Shyamalan, as we all know, is renowned for the freaky surprise twists which his movies end with. Let's hope that The Lady In The Water's twist doesn't involve the lady turning out to really be a man. We don't want that particular twist to happen more than once in our lifetime) $18,210,000
4 – You, Me And Dupree (Or, to give it its full title, You, Me, Dupree And No Funny Jokes At All Really) $12,787,000
5 – Little Man (In years to come when professors of cinema compile a comprehensive encyclopedia of films where babies try and force adult women into giving them a blowjob, we're almost 100% certain that Little Man will be in there somewhere) $11,000,000
Read more:
Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo
[story by Stuart Heritage]