Did you happen to notice an influx of women in plastic rimmed glasses throwing themselves pathetically on the street yesterday in their geek t-shirts, sobbing uncontrollably while screaming, “NO!!!!!!”? If you did, then you may already know that Benedict Cumberbatch, Lord of the Otter People and So Ugly He’s Hot King, has announced his engagement to his girlfriend.
I won’t lie, I too am a member of the Cumberbitches group, so my heart feels a bit shattered today also.? And incase getting engaged wasn’t hard enough on us, Benedict managed to do it in such an amazing way that just makes us all love his stupidly long face even more.
Benedict Cumberbatch is a constant battle with Tom Middleton for Best British Guy to Gif, and he has an obsessively devoted group of female (and let’s be honest, male too) fans that make Claymates look like well adjusted non-cat ladies.? Benedict is one of those guys that you either think he walks on water, or you think his face looks like a foot and you seriously do not get the attraction.? As I have already mentioned, I am team OMG SHERLOCK, but it’s not just his looks that attracts so much affection.? Cumberbatch is also British, so automatically more cultured and refined than practically any American guy (plus, he has an accent), and he has a great sense of humor.? Benedict does a mean Alan Rickman impression as well, so all the Potter nerds are fans too.
Apparently, Cumberbatch has been dating some woman named Sophie Hunter for a few months, but since Benedict is a gentleman who keeps his personal life private many didn’t even realize this.?? Hunter is an actress (of course) and theater director, which means I envision their nights home alone together to consist a lot of Hamlet reenactments and Jesus Christ Superstar sing offs.??Due to the shortness of their relationship and the lack of information about it, there haven’t really been a lot of marriage rumors or anything surrounding the two.
Then in the Times yesterday, in the “Forthcoming Marriages” section (Yes, those still exist but I think primarily for the hoity toity and direct descendants of Plantation owners), this blurb appeared:
The engagement is announced between Benedict, son of Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch of London, and Sophie, daughter of Katharine Hunter of Edinburgh and Charles Hunter of London.
How fucking classy is that shit?? Understated, traditional, and all around oddly adorable, at least coming from Benny.? Those damn Brits always showing how it’s done.? Maybe more Americans should take note of this and less of over the obnoxious top stunts like anything the Kardashians pull.
I doubt there will be much information given into when or where the two will get married, which is really smart in terms of safety.? You know Hunter is now very high up on the shit list of crazy stalkers everywhere.? If you all thought the hate against Selena Gomez from Beliebers was intense, wait until you see what crazy shit friendless nerds can pull.