Apparently Alcoholic Baby Daddy of the Year, Scott Disick, and Queen of the Lot Lizards, Bella Thorne, have decided to put aside their Cannes drama and continue their mutual downward spirals together. God, Hollywood is always full of so many great romances.
Even though Scott took Bella to Cannes last month, then proceeded to toss his dick to any girl willing to share a cigarette with him, Bella has seemingly decided to forgive him, as the two were spotted hand-in-hand at Lana Del Rey’s birthday party this week.
First things first: No. I have no fucking clue why either of these people would be invited to Lana Del Rey’s birthday party. I am just as confused as you by this gripping Hollywood mystery. I mean, maybe they just showed up? They both seem like the kind of people who would just show up, right?
Anyway, as you can see from the above pic, they came to the party holding hands and left together around 2am, so I’m guessing this bizarre, 100% gross romance is back on, and I honestly don’t know who’s downgrading more.
When Bella first bailed on Cannes she came home and was seemingly rekindling her romance with the mega handsome, mega wholesome Greg Sulkin, but I guess spending all that time at Hot Topic and listening to EDM made her decide Greg was too “normal” and “stable” for her, and she would rather ride a dick attached to someone who’s dark and likes to party.
As for Scott, I literally have no idea what this guy is doing. Well, I mean, I know what he’s doing: he’s fucking little girls with bad boob jobs. What I can’t tell you is why he’s doing this. I mean, Bella Thorne is kind of a mess of a person, and maybe messes need other messes, but Bella Thorne is a mess in the sense that these memes of her exist:
Whereas Scott Disick is a mess in like an early-90s Robert Downey Jr., but with three kids and no talent, thus making it worse, kind of way.
I can only assume that they’re doing a lot of MDMA together and having a lot of gross sex and the whole thing makes me slightly uncomfortable. However, I’m a serious journalist and will continue to keep you in the know on this shit regardless of how much it grosses me out, so stayed tuned…
Oh, and in case you needed a reminder of just how weird and gross this whole thing is: