Given the current state of the world's banks, it's a fair bet that the majority of people think bankers are twats.
After all, the whole monetary system has gone into meltdown. Things have gotten so bad that in Nottingham it's been reported that sterling has been abandoned in favour of actual human shit.
But who is the original bellend banker? After all, there are so many on enormous bonuses, surely one has to be the supreme leader. Step forward Howard from the Halifax adverts, the man who frequently annoyed us all between 2002 and 2008 with his appalling singing and crap dance moves. Seriously, this guy was so bad that at times he made Jedward look like seasoned professionals.
When these adverts were first created, the advertising people must have been given the following brief: ?Dear Advertising Agency. Because most of the general public have no idea how the banking system works and are in shitloads of debt due to them all having fifty store cards with 30.1% APR added on, can you make something refreshing and idiot proof for them to understand??
And what do the British people like even more than getting pissed on cheap booze? A merry old titting song and dance that's what. Imagine an advert where a straight-faced man hits you with facts about mortgages. Christ it would be worse than walking on a bed of hedgehogs. What you need is a smiling, dancing goon.
The public love an ironic hero. Just look at Susan Boyle, Michael Jackson and The Midget From Diff’rent Strokes. Honestly, the advert could have Howard telling us that he hates the Swedish and we wouldn’t mind. He's doing a funny song and dance so let's all LOL at him.
Not until the very end of the advert are we told that this whole stupid advert – that features a hilarious talking fish – is about switching bank accounts. How do we do that? Do we have to sing like Howard and wait for our money to be transferred by magic? Or do we have to look up a chicken?s bumhole for the answers? For God?s sake Howard you tit, help us out.
We don't know what has happened to Howard, but knowing the way people drag out their moments of fame, he?ll probably be in the studio recording an album of hilarious banking songs including. Honey We've Shrunk The Economy and My Bonus Brings All The Boys To The Yard.
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