Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
China’s got a lot more going on right now than just intentionally terrifying the west and probably killing foreign dissidents. Yes sir, most people thought they were a one trick pony – but that was only until the Kraken washed up on their commie-ravaged shores.
You don’t believe us? Well then look at the picture right there and you tell us what it is.
Scientists the world over are currently working to verify that Carnie Wilson is still alive, Fat Elvis is still buried and there’s not a little tiny Guiness-book scooter missing it’s hefty twin. That’s because something petty weird just floated up onto a Guangdong beach down ol’ China-way.
It should be stated right now that nobody’s really outright calling it a paranormal monster from the deep. It’s more a matter of people saying the thing is absolutely enormous, and it’s completely unidentifiable. That says something – doesn’t it?
We’ll let the Sun explain things:
“A giant 55 foot ‘sea monster’ has been found washed up on a beach in China.
The beast from the deep is so badly decayed it cannot be identified. But according to local reports from Guangdong, in the south-east of the country, it weighed at least 4.5 TONS.“One fisherman, known only as Hwang, 66, said he was astonished by the find.
People have flocked to see the creature ? despite the rotting corpse’s foul stench.
It was found tangled in ropes and one theory is fisherman caught it but could not land it as it was so big.”
Everybody seems pretty curious about what the thing is – let us throw out a few possibilities;
1) It’s Bigfoot. The only possibility is that it’s a Bigfoot.
That’s right. We’ve used our Sherlock Holmes-like deductive prowess to determine that the thing is definitely a sasquatch that floated over from a Washington coastal woodland. It’s relatives probably floated him into the ocean on a hand-made kayak surrounded by hundreds of floating candles. Mother nature, always fickle, capsized the craft and let her tides have their way with the corpse.
We’re really quite confident this is what happened.
That or it’s just the detached genitals of an even bigger monster. Either way – we’re moving farther inland.
Can’t be too safe.