Avril Lavigne Is The Definition Of Awkward

Avril LavigneLet me just put this out there.  Avril Lavigne sucks.   Her music sucks.  Her clothing sucks.  Her husband SUCKS.  And in case Avril needed another element of suck to round out her total encompassing of all things sucktastic,  here comes a meet and greet with some fans that is just beyond terrible.

And I know what you’re thinking.  “Fans?  What fans?”  We would be wrong it seems.  I didn’t even realize that anyone who still calls themselves a Lavigne fan doesn’t also have a mental condition causing them to still think we are in 2002.   Color me shocked.

So Avril Lavigne is touring again because she blew her way into another recording contract, so we have all been blessed with another shitty teen angst album sung by a 30 something year old who thinks wearing excessive eyeliner is so hard.   Currently, she is in Brazil (aka one of Bieber’s favorite pay for pussy countries) and her management thought it would be a brilliant idea to do a meet and greet with photos in order to drum up even more money.

Normally, a photo shoot with your favorite celebrity is the highlight of many people’s lives.  This highlight can be awesome (let’s say, meeting Prince Harry Hotpants or a naked Jesse Williams) or it can be really fucking sad (Like Lindsay Lohan or a Kardashian).  I think it’s safe to say after seeing the outcome of this meet and greet that meeting Avril was a beyond sad.   These poor suckers paid $400 to meet this vapid bitch, and she couldn’t even muster up one of those half assed side hugs for them.

See exhibit A

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B

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And C.

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Just for an idea.

God.  Can you imagine what sex is like with her and Chad Kroeger?  I imagine the two of them leaning as far away from each other as possible, while still allowing their genitals to grossly touch, with both watching themselves in hand mirrors, as each sings some lame three chord song with lyrics that sound like they were written by a third grader left back for the second time.   I want to apologize for that run-on, but I just can’t.

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