They said it would Never Ever happen, but girl-group All Saints are All Hooked Up again. Following a Bootie Call from Shaznay Lewis, Melanie Blatt and the Appleton sisters met up for a Black Coffee and decided to end the War Of Nerves that had endured since the group’s split in February 2001. Well, something like that, anyway.
The pop quartet have signed to former label Parlophone and are reportedly working on their third album. And there’s more! A new single is expected before the end of the year. And more still! All Saints are expected to announce live dates in the very near future. In your face, Take That!
All Saints (CDs) scored five number one singles and sold ten million albums
during their time at the top of the Giant Sequoia of pop. “Great
stats,” we hear you say, “but are they ‘spray rated?” Well, quite. To
defend your honour we shall subject All Saints to hecklerspray‘s rigorous
three-stage test for calculating the worth of any girl-group. It’s
rumoured that fear of failing this test was one of the main reasons the
Spice Girls didn’t reform for Live 8 last year. Here goes:
– Is girl-group in question better than Atomic Kitten? Check.
– Is girl-group in question ‘alf as much fun as Girls Aloud? Err…well…
– Does girl-group in question have better hair than Mis-Teeq? Hell yeah!
All Saints scored two out of three. Hurrah! This means they’re
officially A Good Thing. What is more, we’d like to see them release a
cover of the Pet Shop Boys‘ It’s A Sin because, well, it’d be a bit of
a play on words and all clever and stuff. Even Stephen Fry might give a
little wry smile at that one.
Since going their separate ways in 2001, the All Saints girls have
attempted to earn a modest living with various ‘solo projects’. Natalie
Appleton laid claim to being the least ballsy person on earth on I’m A
Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Melanie Blatt released a slightly* dodgy
single with Craig David‘s old mucker Artful Dodger back when UK Garage
was still a contemporary music genre. And Shaznay Lewis unleashed a
solo album that proved about as popular as a Jodie Marsh self-help
guide.
We are too kind to mention that three of All Saints starred in Dave
Stewart‘s ill-fated gangsta flick Honest. We are also too kind to
mention that one esteemed critic described the experience of actually
watching the film as follows:
“Upon leaving the cinema, my abiding
feelings about Honest were summed up all too well by the words of the
All Saints themselves: Never ever have I ever felt so low…"
All Saints’ A&R guru Jamie Nelson told Music Week magazine that
“So long as they deliver the right record you can’t really go wrong."
So your name appears on the following list, expect a phone call from
Parlophone Records this week: Cathy Dennis, Richard X, William Orbit,
Stuart Price, Him Off Of Xenomania….
Nelson proceeded:
“I just don’t think anyone has taken their place.
They’ve always been the right side of credible, the right side of
cool.”
Let’s just hope nobody utters the word ‘Sugababes’ in front of
him in the near future, eh?
*very
Read more:
All Saints Confirm Reunion – BreakingNews
[story by Nick Levine]