It’s day two of the hecklerspray and Betfair.com Eurovision contestant rundown. The competition will be held on May 21st, which leaves you plenty of time to research the entries, and mentally prepare yourself for the barrage of bad nonsense wailed at you by a load of strangers from countries you can’t even spell.
Today, we’re going to be looking at three countries very close to our hearts. OK, that’s a lie. Today we’re going to be looking at three countries we couldn’t find on a map even if they were covered in pictures of Abi Titmuss.
That’s right, Belarus, Belgium and Bosnia & Herzogovina.
Belarus (pop. 10,310,520; a landlocked nation of eastern Europe)
Singing for Belarus this year will be Angela Agurbash, a woman who "never hides her age". She’s 34, by the way. She’ll be singing Love Me Tonight, a filthy-sounding song from the perspective of a woman who wants a shag. "I’m ready now", she sings. Terrifying. Current odds – 39/1
Belgium (pop. 10,309,725; a country in western Europe)
Belgium will be represented by Nuno Guilherme de Figueiredo Resende, a man who looks as untrustworthy as his name is long. He breaks the sacred goatee/ponytail rule, you see. His song is Le Grand Soir (The Big Night), about facing his fear of singing in public. "Tonight I’ll cross the lonely street and walk to be in history", it goes. History? We’ll see about that, sunshine. Current odds – 249/1
Bosnia & Herzogovina (pop. 3,922,205; a mountainous country in the western Balkans)
Singing for Bosnia & Herzogovina will be Feminnem, three girls from Croatian Idol. They go by the names of Sexy Feminnem, Baby Feminnem and Fancy Feminnem, despite the fact they are all identical. Their song is Call Me, an ode to countries standing side by side and "50 candles on the party cakes", whatever that means. Current odds – 26/1
That’s all you’re getting for today, but we’ll keep listing the entries right up until Eurovision day. In the meantime, you can head over to the ‘Special Bets’ section of Betfair.com to look at all the entrants, and to lay some money down on the act you’re rooting for.
Not that Nuno guy though. He creeps us out.
[story by Stuart Heritage]