It's tough to be ugly in Hollywood, just ask Sarah Jessica Parker. It's especially bad when your nose is visually unnerving, just ask Sarah Jessica Parker.
But this isn't her article – no! This one is about Ashlee Simpson, and how she probably chopped off a ghastly section of her nose in the past few months. You know what section of nose we're talking about. It was that part that looked like a wise man's single humped camel got lost on her face while following the Christmas star.
Well that wise man's camel appears to be gone now. Several rumors we're only now inventing have it that Ashlee's sister Jessica now wears the scooped-out nasal chunklet on a golden chain around her neck. It's on there with her wedding ring, and it too, doles out strength and inspiration.
Plastic surgery could almost be called commonplace now-a-days. Just you think of all the celebrities what got it done. Tom Cruise supposedly had some sort of Rhinoplasty. We all know how that turned out. All face surgery doesn't turn out so horribly, though. Some people unwrap the gauze to find a beautifully sculpted piece of art, inspiring both wonder and awe.
There are several examples of this facial surgery gone right. You've got your Joan Rivers who, although 112 years old, still looks young and fresh as a 13 year old's first pap smear.
Then you have Elizabeth Taylor. Once the most beautiful woman on the big screen, she's now the most beautiful woman that may or may not be sexily retarded. The majestic surgical strokes that sculpted her current face into such perfection… why, just the thought of her visual magnificence is enough to make us lose all concentratio… concen… conc…
But this story belongs not to those women. It's of Ashlee Simpson we wish to speak. She had a bump on her nose. It gave her character – character reminiscent of the evil puppetronic bird-overlords from the Dark Crystal, but character none the less.
Now Ashlee Simpson's nose bump is gone. She's been called out on it too, when asked if she's had the surgery she simply replied:
"Everybody's already saying it, so I just don't talk about it. I'm like, OK, whatever. It doesn't bother me."
We're like that too, Ashlee, all the time. Seriously, we've got so much in common. So where's your sister, anyway? When asked what she planned to do with her disconnected nose chunk, she said she'd like to put it to work. She's gonna have it introduce her as she walks on stage at shows, and maybe hold onto her cape for the more explosive dance numbers. Maybe she said that. Actually probably not.
Read more:
Ashlee Laughs Off Nose Job Talk – People
[story by Shawn Lindseth]