George Michael writes some dreary songs, doesn’t he? And Wham! Rap, what was that all about? Well, we may have found the answer – perhaps George Michael was off his brains on drugs at the time.
Because George Michael, you see, was arrested this weekend on suspicion of possessing drugs after being found slumped at the wheel of his car in Central London. Sure, it’s hardly waggling your penis at an undercover policeman in a public toilet, but it’s all we’ve got. Hey, maybe someone should have woken him up before he went went. That pun didn’t really work, did it?
In our youth, we would always seem to confuse George Michael (CDs) with Boy
George in our minds. We’re not sure why. Maybe it was because they both
had the name George. But then, we wouldn’t confuse them with George
Foreman. Anyway, it seems that Boy George and George Michael have more
in common than we thought. They’re both singers, they’re both gayer
than Christmas, they both live in the 1980s and now they’ve both been
arrested on drugs charges.
After Boy George’s weird cocaine arrest last year, George Michael
was arrested over the weekend for the slightly less exciting charge of
suspicion of possessing Class C drugs. Following a call from a member
of the public early on Saturday morning, police apparently found George
Michael slumped at the wheel of his car. He was checked by paramedics,
and then taken into custody at Hyde Park Corner police station.
According to reports, George Michael was also arrested for suspicion
of being unfit to drive, but was later unarrested for that charge.
George was then bailed and told to return to a police station next
month, following tests on the substance he was apparently found with. A
police spokesperson said:
"We were called by a member of the public to a man seen slumped over
the steering wheel of a car on the street close to Hyde Park Corner. An
ambulance attended, but the man was not suffering from any injuries so
was not conveyed to hospital. Police attended and spoke to the man,
aged 42. A search of the man revealed what was believed to be
controlled substances. He was arrested on suspicion of possession of
controlled substances of category C."
This
is obviously a giant shock; George Michael – one of our beloved pop
stars and a role model for unusually stubbly children everywhere –
might secretly be doing soft drugs! The shame! The ignominy! That is,
we would be shocked, if George Michael hadn’t repeatedly crowed about
how much he enjoys a lovely smoke now and then. At the end of last
year, George said:
"I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, thank God. I’m still smoking weed
though, but I’m trying to give that up."
And then there were the claims that his album Older was:
"Pretty much recorded on cannabis."
And then there was the line in Shoot The Dog that went;
"That’s why I’m always getting stoned."
You
probably don’t know that last one. Because it was shit. Should this
latest case go to court, George Michael should be careful how he
pleads. Guilty feet have got no rhythm, remember.
Read more:
Singer George Michael In Drug Probe – This Is London
[story by Stuart Heritage]