Hey everybody! Halloween is here soon! That means one thing – you need to plan your Halloween outfit, like, now. Otherwise you’ll be left looking stupid at the Halloween parties while everyone else is dressed to the nines in, well, very little.
Halloween is a great time of year – and this is from someone who is a Halloween grinch. Why? Because you can walk through the streets of any city in the world and see a bunch of people wearing alternatively stupid and sexy outfits, and it’s totally alright to point and laugh or ogle. In fact, it’s encouraged. Halloween is a time for people to let their inner extrovert out in the form of stupid clothing.
It can be taken too far though. There are some no-nos. For one, you have to carefully hew the line of taste. Go too far and it becomes distasteful. Cheating at costumes is also frowned upon. People like to see that someone has put effort into their outfit. Premade stuff is often thought of as too easy to do.
Rubber masks are probably chief amongst the no’s. They’re basic, simple, and take no effort. But if you really are in a jam this year, then here are some ideas for you:
Hey look – it’s everyone’s favourite celebrity golfer and alleged manwhore, Tiger Woods! Okay, so if you wear this mask with its massive teeth and big head you might be construed as a little bit racist, but still! Why not? It’s Halloween, people!
You want to be a bit more timely with your celebrity lookalike than Tiger Woods (who, let’s face it, was so last year). You’re thinking that 2012 was the year of Britain and the Royalty. You’re thinking of Kate Middleton, but really, she’s got a pretty average face. So you go for the next best thing.
No, not the Queen. Camilla Parker-Bowles, wife of Prince Charles and famously “the other woman” (who wasn’t Diana). Let’s get that latex on your face.
Hitler was a celebrity! Sorta. Look – you’re going for shock value here: we’re talking truly terrifying. And the guywasfamous. If you’re going to invest in a rubber mask, you want to have one which will leave a lasting impression.
If you want your Halloween to be celebrated with a side of paedophilia then try out the Justin Bieber mask. I can’t believe I’m actually typing this, but Torontonian Lee Moir, 51 years old, used the mask above to convince young girls he was Justin Bieber. He’d chat to them on webcam, and, well, you can guess the rest. It’s disgusting, and not cool. If you wear this mask come Halloween you deserve to be punched.
Okay, okay. So James Holmes isn’t a celebrity. But if you want to be the face of a mass murderer this Halloween, then, well knock yourself out. There was an eBay listing (since taken down) which offered this beauty for sale with the following description:
SHOCK EVERYONE YOU KNOW! There is nothing more scary than crawling into James Holmes mind and wearing his face. His ‘soul penetrating eyes’ and ‘The Joker’ orange hair makes this mask the most disturbing object you will ever own. Imagine owning the mask of supposedly the most dangerous mass murderer in US history.
I know that’d make me Buy it Now.