To the surprise of no one, Hollywood is filled with hot babes. Hell, I make a minor living talking about how beautiful everyone is, and, in most cases, sexiness doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Hollywood doesn’t just have hot families, it has straight up stunning families where everyone looks so perfect you could just barf (well, I couldn’t. I have esophagus problems).
Trying to pick just ten families that epitomize perfection was easier said than done, but these ten will probably make you look at your own family and say “Oh my god, I never realized what hideous hobos you all were!” and look at your children and say?”Get cute, ugly!”
The Beckham’s
David and Victoria Beckham are both stunning and extremely fashionable. I mean, I’ve been the biggest Posh Spice fan since I was 10 and she’s a total goddess to me. They’re also proof that when two gorgeous and fashionable people come together, they make gorgeous, fashionable children. Their sons (from left – right) Romeo, Cruz, and Brooklyn (who may or may not be dating Chloe Grace Mortez) are beautiful children who seem very close to their parents. And, of course, we can’t forget little Harper Beckham (warning ladies, the following pic will set your lady parts on fire)
If my kids aren’t as good-looking as these children (they won’t be) I simply won’t love them (sorry, future kids, mom doesn’t love you and is a shallow cunt)
The Crawford/Gerber’s
Cindy Crawford is arguably one of the most beautiful supermodels of all time and she still looks daaaaaaamn good. Her husband, Randy, is a cutie who is BFF with George Clooney. Together, they made two ridiculously stunning children. Son, Presely, and daughter, Kaia, inherited mom’s supermodel good looks (obviously) and have actually done a little modeling themselves. I mean, look at Kaia! She’s like a mini Cindy! She was born to be a star!
The Kardashian/Jenner’s
You can say what you want about the Kardashian and Jenner girls, but if you say they’re not attractive you’re basically just being a hater, because those are some damn fine looking women. You know what? I’m sick of pretending I don’t fucking love these bitches. The highlight of my weekend was watching the premiere of “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. To be fair, I drank a lot of wine this weekend and watching the show was one of the few things I remembered on my own without the help of pictures I drunkenly Instagrammed (mentallyillest…always plugging myself…which sounds like I’m masturbating, but ANYWAY). I think Kanye was right when he rapped that all Kris Jenner ever did was make trophies (I actually find that a bit derogatory, but fuck it for now). I mean, come on, they’re stunners!
The Jolie-Pitt’s
I feel like this is just a giant case of the DUHS. Brad and Angelia are considered the most beautiful man and woman in Hollywood. Together they had three stunning biological children (Shiloh, Knox, and Vivienne) and three adorable adopted children (Maddox, Zahara, and Pax). Their mixed family is so good-looking it’s insane. I feel like I didn’t even have to say this shit, you just know. Plus, in the below pic the kids kind of look like a b-boy dance crew, which I dig.
The Olsen’s
Marky-Kate and Ashley have been my woman crush Wednesday’s for over ten years. I think they’re gorgeous and stylish and everything good. Then their little sister, Elizabeth, hit the Hollywood scene and I was like GODDAMN, what kind of genetics are going on in this family because, like Kris Jenner, their mom is just popping out gorgeous girl after gorgeous girl.
The Skarsgard’s
These are the Skarsgard brothers. They are from Sweden and were somehow spawned from chubby, unattractive actor, Stellan Skarsgard.
This is Alexander, the most famous:
This is Gustaf, who gives me some real Gary Oldman vibes (that’s a big deal to me):
?And this is Bill (my personal favorite and the only reason I watched “Hemlock Grove”):
Any questions?
The Rossdale-Stefani’s
Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are two super sexy, talented, fashionable people who got together and had three gorgeous little boys. They’re basically the coolest family in the music industry, AND sometimes their kids have play dates with Brangelina’s kids. How adorable and beautiful must that shit be?!
The Bundchen/Brady’s
Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are annoyingly perfect. She’s the world’s top supermodel. He’s one of the hunkiest quarterbacks in the world. Together, they had two adorable children (plus, Tom has an adorable little boy with uber babe, Bridget Moynahan). Plus, they seem super happy and in love and they’re both acing it in the career department and just, like, fuck off, you guys!
The Hawn/Hudson’s
Aside from being an adorable/beautiful woman in her own right, Goldie Hawn also spawned two mega babe actor kids: Kate and Oliver Hudson. She might not make the best career choices, but Kate Hudon is a fucking bombshell and Oliver is a total hunk who, yes, I only know from his stint on “Dawson’s Creek”. But, like who cares? Plus, have you seen Kate Hudson’s abs lately? You’ve had two kids! Damn girl!
The Seals
Ok, I know their last name isn’t Seal. I also know they’re not together anymore, but nonetheless, former sexy couple, Heidi Klum and Seal, parented four very beautiful children together. Though oldest daughter, Leni, isn’t biologically Seal’s, he was there when she was born and has raised her as his own. I mean, how cute are these little girls?