It's a tough time to be a celebrity with a newborn baby at the moment; there are just so many of them at the moment that it's hard to stand out in the crowd. Especially for a B-lister like Woody Harrelson.
Woody Harrelson and his wife Laura Louie have just brought a baby girl named Makani Ravello into the world. And knowing that he just can't compete on the same terms with the likes on Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Rachel Weisz, Gwen Stefani, Brooke Shields and, um, Geri Halliwell, Woody Harrelson has opted for a different tactic to get noticed – the deranged, batshit baby statement.
Put yourself in the place of Woody Harrelson. You're most fondly remembered as the doofus barman in Cheers, but then you decide to be an inconsistently successful filmstar in your own right, starring in films like Natural Born Killers, The People vs Larry Flint and Indecent Proposal, only to find yourself back doing rubbish guest-spots on stupid sitcoms like Will And Grace. Then your wife has a baby.
"This is your chance to remind people who Woody Harrelson is again," you – Woody Harrelson, remember – think. But disaster strikes. You were going to make up a bunch of stories about the mental conditions in which the birth took place, but Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes beat you to it. Then you make up a crazy name for the kid; after all, Makani Ravello will take some topping in the dumbass names stakes, even getting the edge on Moses. Then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have Shiloh Nouvel, and you're back to square one again.
What do you do now? Keep quiet about the birth? Gwen Stefani did that. Refuse to tell anyone the baby's name? Rachel Weisz did that. Invent a feud with another celebrity to draw attention to the baby? Brooke Shields did that. Rename the baby after someone infinitely more famous than you in the hope that some of the talent and fame rubs off on you? Geri Halliwell did that. Think, Woody Harrelson, think! In the end you just decide to make a batshit statement about goddesses and energy and your other two daughters and crazy crap like that:
“In this crazy patriarchal world we live in, we are doing our part to
balance the energy. We are proud to announce the completion of our
goddess trilogy with the birth of our third daughter, Makani Ravello.”
Yeah, that'll do it. Well done Woody Harrelson.
Read more:
Woody Harrelson Welcomes Third Daughter – MSNBC
[story by Stuart Heritage]