When you're a stone-cold streetwalking hustler like Snoop Dogg, the law exists only to be ignored; unless, of course, you get caught ignoring the law – in which case you go to court and tell everyone you're really very sorry for being such a naughty boy.
Snoop Dogg went to court yesterday to face a bunch of felony charges stemming from a) the time he rolled around Burbank in a car overflowing with guns and drugs and b) the time he did the exact same thing again a month later – and to everyone's surprise Snoop Dogg pleaded no contest to everything thrown at him. By doing this, Snoop Dogg avoided a jail sentence but has been put on probation for five years. We know – we're scared that there won't be another monthly Snoop Dogg arrest story until 2012 too. Hold us. We just want to be held.
Snoop Dogg has done all sorts of criminal things in his past – playing a comedy bloodhound in a film about a fast zebra, guest-starring on Just Shoot Me, smashing up an airport duty free shop so badly that an entire country banned him – but thanks to Snoop Dogg's ice-cold demeanour and no-nonsense persona, he somehow keeps wriggling out of trouble.
Well, partly it's to do with Snoop Dogg's ice-cold demeanour and no-nonsense persona, and partly it's because Snoop Dogg would rather plead no contest to some charges like a big girl than face prison time. That's more or less what happened yesterday, by the way; after Snoop Dogg was arrested with guns and drugs in his car in Burbank last year – twice – he found himself on the end of some felony charges that could have put Snoop in the kennel for four years. And that's where Snoop Dogg's no contest plea came in handy, as the Los Angeles Times reports:
The entertainer, whose real name is Calvin Broadus, entered the plea to a charge of gun possession by a convicted felon and a marijuana-related drug charge, prosecutors said. Dogg, 35, appeared before Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Terry Smerling in Pasadena clad in a leather jacket, black jeans and a T-shirt. As part of the agreement, he received a three-year suspended sentence and five years' probation and will have to perform 800 hours of community service, according to the Los Angeles County district attorney's office.
800 hours of community service? That's a whole month of work with no sleep, which equals a lot of embarrassing public tantrums for us to look forward to. But, look, won't this huge probation affect Snoop's public image? After all, part of Snoop's appeal is that he's a gang-banging, blunt-smoking hip-hop gangsta who just don't care. Being on probation for five years will probably mean that Snoop Dogg will have to give up smoking pot too – that's the musical equivalent of He-Man taking Battle Cat to the vet to have his balls lopped off.
Luckily Snoop has a plan to navigate around this – he'll still be about to smoke marijuana, but only as a form of migraine relief. So far from being a gangsta, Snoop Dogg is now a man who meekly gives into charges to avoid jail and who only smokes drugs when his heady-weady gets all bangy-wangy. The poor lamb.
But let's look at the real reason that Snoop Dogg pleaded no contest yesterday – it means he's in the clear. Well, in the clear apart from the forthcoming trial about the time that Snoop Dogg got on a plane with a giant whacking stick. And that Swedish drugs bust from last month. And whatever dumb shit Snoop Dogg is bound to get arrested for in the next couple of weeks. But, you know, more or less in the clear.
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Sam says
Lay off the man! What would you do if facing jail time and the judge says, “plead no contest and we will give you community service and probation”?
Would you say ” no thanks mate, give me the jail time”? I think we all know the answer to that.
I’m sure that a lot of his rep is hype and a lot is real but either way nobody in their right mind is gonna do jail time if they can help it.
As for hanging out with Mary Jane, if more Americans hung out with her instead of of drinking or using meth,coke,crack,heroin etc this country would be in a
much better position. Besides if it was legal the MAN would have $10 billion dollars a year to spend on another illegal war!
JK says
How many times has he been arressted for breaking the law? If he were not a celebrity (????) his backside would be serving time. I am sick to death of these types getting off with a slap on the hand, and told to “play nice”. People like him are too durable, that’s their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, and they last too long.
J-O says
I just don’t understand? You spend half your life talking about the hood, trying to leave the hood, and do the same “gangsta” actions of the hood, in Burbank? Perhaps some 110 pound
woman intended on robbing him at the local starbucks? So he needed the guns? Let get real! I’m a snoop fan (well was). When will these rappers these days realize that the public does
not need to be constantly reminded how “gangsta” they are? If 40 million albums and 100 million dollars later, you still can’t move your life in a positive direction, perhaps jail is where you
belong. If he were broke and about to pull a 187 (bad joke), then maybe I would understand riding through Cali with guns and drugs (I still wouldn’t, but hey).
I’m very dissappointed in him and other rap artist who continue to live up to the stereotypes that they so called don’t want. This is why rap music as become tired and redundant, just as
redundant as a rich rapper in court for a felony.
Way to go snoop!
LOdi DODI says
wat da fucc? iz da bitx da wrote dis article ignorant?probably…..he could b mor dan dat cuz he wld rather go to jail and spend his time among male rapists dan be on probation ….giv him a brake y u gotta wryt a bissed article , y u agaginst him? duznt realli matter wut u say cuz no matter wat he still richer dan u , gets more girls, has more fun and plays like da big boys more dan ur hating ass….so yeah …
lay off the man …
Stuart Heritage says
Yes, you’re right LOdi DODI. I am ‘agaginst’ him. I will give him a ‘brake’ from now on and I shall use every effort to get my hating ass to play with more big boys in future whenever possible.
Adam Gade says
hecklerspray, I propose a trade. America will take some Burberry wearing chavs off your hands and you take some like LOdi DODI. Sound fair? In fact, we’ll take all of Watford for some like him.
Jack JO says
go fu*# yourself LOdi DODI motherf@#*
PIC says
Doesnt this just show that for all the bluster….hes really more “Calvin” (read “pussy geek”) than “SnooP”…tough ass MOFO gangsta…what BS! Hes playing the system, laughin all the way to bank and hopefully losing any “street” cred. Maybe he and “38 CENT” (INFLATION REDUCED) will get together and take down a SBUX or shoot up a Jamba Juice….course both of them now are richer than all get out. Snoop actually golfs….yeah theres a real gang banger sport…who needs hoops.
GetYourExBack says
Dang Snoop! Not once…but twice? Errr…and I bet it won’t be the last!
Mr. x says
“rap music as become tired and redundan” to whom? You? that line is tired and redundant. As snoop says in the song Think About it”. Basically you hear these rappers out here using my flow.
They need snoop on their song to make their shit official though”. Snoops latest album from my point of view is his best to date. Hip-Hop/ Rap is not going to disappear. its just going to keep evolving like any other musical Genre.
The last time I checked Snoop did a concert in Europe along side P diddy trying to put an end to all the East coast west coast hate and from what I could tell (yes I did go to see it) he seemed rather peaceful during the concert in Switzerland as well as at the after party where he spent his time Just sitting in a corner with his wife Like an Indian smoking a peace pipe “nothing necessarily gangster about that.”
As for the guns I don’t know how many he had in the car but the last time I checked most famous super stars especially gang bangers carry guns. Remember 2 Pac? Look at him now. As far as I know 2Pac was not even a gang banger (just an Idiot) Snoop is & was a gang banger B4 he was famous so asking him to stop now is insanity . All the money in the world won’t save him from a gang hit. Simply put, Quitting is not an option. Gangbanging is real. It’s a direct result of years of racial profiling and racist behavior from not just whites but most Americans as well as a failure to properly educate our children. We people need to Stop spending so much time and money to “fight” crime, Start paying people what they are worth, educate our children and the large scale crime will disappear because people will be too busy shopping with money they earned from their jobs. If not, id like to quote Nas from the song If I ruled the world. “you could have all the chips, be poor or richStill nobody wants 2 see a nigga havin shit!”
Americans could learn allot from the Swiss.
Stop the hate
Raygay says
face it, the guy has a serious attitude problem.
I bet $100 he ends up like tu-pac.
Tom Shumway says
Who is the idiot that came up with this headline? Is it OK for you (us) to call each other names like this, or do we just barbecue people like Imus?
Or maybe we just hold white people to a higher standard and get really crazy when they mess up.
nytemaire says
get em snoop
GetExBack says
But he avoided jail time. That’s the important thing. Can’t have a star in jail.