The Superbowl is a place where people like to go to see large
muscly men running around in spandex and punching each other with
shoulders, knees, and elbows.
It could be considered one of the last sanctuaries of true American
manhood, and will likely be cherished as such for generations to come.
And what better place to watch a 105 lb. sexually ambiguous, waif-like
Jehovah's Witness strut his stuff?
Well there is no better place, to answer things simply. That is why Prince has just been booked for the Superbowl half-time show.
If you've ever wanted to see Justin Timberlake
rip open Prince's shirt to expose a pasty-covered nipple, ample
opportunity is yours to be had! Except Timbelake won't be anywhere in
the area, and Prince isn't typically known for gluing stuff to his
nip-tips, but you get the idea. Prince, the sexiest vegetarian alive, is playing the half-time show of the upcoming Superbowl, as it's just been announced.
With this move, the Superbowl is moving away from the safety of seriously old men (like Paul McCartney and the Rolling Stones), and back into what's been described as a slightly riskier area. Serious caution has been taken since Janet Jackson whipped out a milk-maker a few years back. An NFL spokesman said of Prince performing:
''He's an electric performer whose body of work has appealed to a wide,
diverse audience over the years. We've had discussions with Prince and
his management, and they understand the spotlight that performing on
the world's largest stage provides. We recognize that we are held to a
higher standard in everything we do, and we want to put on a show that
is suitable for a mass audience.''
Now assuming Prince sticks to playing music as opposed to painting houses he doesn't own purple, and his Las Vegas performance schedule goes uninterrupted, it sounds like a fine time will truly be had by all.
We just hope he plays that one Beat It song.