Some words just go together, don't they? Cheese and onion. Batman and Robin. U2 and rubbish. But some words don't fit together so well, like sexy and vegetarian.
Face it, chewing on hunks of dead animals is bigger, cleverer, cooler and sexier than nibbling on an artichoke. That's not opinion, that's scientific fact. But some people just don't get it, and still try to give out awards to vegetarians they think are sexy. And by 'some people' we mean PETA and by 'vegetarians they think are sexy' we of course mean tiny porno 1980s pop singer Prince.
You've got to love PETA for its persistence, haven't you. The rest of the world is happy knowing that a giant bowl of delicious steaming murder is far more tasty than a giant bowl of delicious steaming horticulture, but PETA is still there, telling everyone that vegetarians can be sexy people too.
PETA took time out from dressing Heather Mills McCartney up in a giant television and sending her to annoy Jennifer Lopez to compile its annual list of the World's Sexiest Vegetarians. You'll remember that last year's winners of the World's Sexiest Vegetarian award were pasty-faced indie whinger Chris Martin – a man who loves eating plants so much he named his daughter after one – and some girl out of American Idol. Has PETA been able to top that for the Sexiest Vegetarian list this year?
Of course it has, because PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian 2006 is none other than weeny singer Prince. And some girl out of Veronica Mars. Although Prince is physically too sexy to comment on his new, important, not just some lame publicity at all, role as spokesperson for sexy vegetarians everywhere, the Veronica Mars woman – someone called Kirsten Bell – said this:
“I had a hard time disassociating the animals I cuddled with – dogs and cats, for example – from the animals on my plate, and I never really cared for the taste of meat. I always loved my brussels sprouts!”
Wow – we were wrong! Vegetarians can be sexy people too! And also, eating nothing but soy-based meat substitute leaves them so mentally incapacitated that they'd even fall in love with you, you filthy meathound.
Read more:
Prince… You Sexy Vegetarian? – MSNBC
[story by Stuart Heritage]