Anyone who has seen a recent photo of the stocky serenader would think the irony of his well-known vegetarian fizzog currently resembling someone who belongs behind the counter of your local butchers has annoyed him but NO! He's grumpy about EVERY SINGLE THING THAT GIVES HIM ANY SORT OF A PUBLIC PROFILE EVER!
The utter WEAPON.
Firstly: his fans. They love him and they create websites dedicated to him, chief of which is morrissey-solo.com. What does he then do? Appear on stage wearing a t-shirt bearing the slogan ?FUCK MORRISSEY-SOLO.COM?? Yes. In Bradford this week, of all places.
One irate user of said website responded by describing themselves as ?a Mexican married to a white girl, who eats pussy not meat?, but we're still trying to figure out how that might be relevant.
Secondly: the music industry. Did we mention that Steven ?Morrissey? Morrissey doesn't have a record deal at the moment? Hmm. He explains:
“Not many labels want bands who have already made their mark, because their success is usually attributed to some other label somewhere else at another time.”
Yes, that?ll be it Steven. No-one wants to sign you for fear of being unfavourably-compared to the heady days of the Rough Trade recording label back in 1987 you tool.
Thirdly: the Smiths. Actually we might have to give this one to Steven. He played a load of Smiths songs during his overlooked set at Glastonbury despite the seemingly-endless spat with all former band-members, prompting ex-drummer (DRUMMER!) Mike Joyce to announce on twitter that he ?didn't like the cover versions?. Yes. We?ll let Steve-O have that one.
And the internet, which Stevie believes has ?obviously wiped music off the human map?, unaware of the fact that the internet has allowed people to access his entire back-catalogue in less than a millisecond flat before disregarding everything after ?Hatful Of Hollow?. And that's being generous.
NEXT WEEK: ?Morrissey Isn't Fond Of That Funny Noise The Fridge Sometimes Makes.?